


The Search for Memories and for a Killer

by justsimplymeagain



Series: Amnesia Will [1]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alana Blooms POV for a chapter, Edited, Gen, Hannibal won't like this, Hannibal's POV for a chapter, M/M, Mid Season 3, Will has amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-28 13:35:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 46,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5092676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsimplymeagain/pseuds/justsimplymeagain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the three years of Hannibal's incarceration, Will loses his memories and one day Jack comes calling and asked for his help in to catch the Tooth Fairy Killer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_“I'm here.”_

A jolt followed those words, chasing Will out of his restless slumber. It was always the same thing that wakes him, memories he can't grasp properly in the morning. Memories that were skewered and not matching up in order or details that Will can find in files about himself. And he had a closet full of information about himself. The problem was, some of it was blacked out and photocopied before given to him. Things to do with his therapy that he doesn't remember, cases he's been told he worked on. Whenever he tried to phone any contacts they were vague in information about those blacked out area's.

Will was essentially kept in the dark and told repeatedly that he should let his memories be recalled naturally and yet any information that can possibly assist him was withheld.

It is endlessly frustrating and Will has had no choice but to settle in letting his mind heal and remember on its own without any stimuli that could be used.

A soft knocking on his door- his borrowed door drew his attention from trying to catch his breath fully and chasing the need for a stiff drink away. Was he an alcoholic? Did he use alcohol to self-medicate? It was just one more thing he had to wait to remember.

“Will?”

It was Molly, her last name was the same as his and Will thinks she's going to get it changed back to Foster soon. No use being married to someone who doesn't remember marrying her. He was told that they got married over two years now, Will doesn't remember it but he likes to think that it was simple and small. Big weddings doesn't feel right to him, too much people. Will was told he married her not too long before his accident that stole him away from himself and evidently from her as well. Will could easily say honestly that he didn't know who he was beyond what was written on paper. It was fine knowing who he was, but it wasn't the same as knowing who he is because his memories attached to all those experiences was missing.

Will believes they will come back. They had to. He needed explanations to his nightmares and the scars on his body. The one on his stomach felt like a brand, a claiming of sorts. The one on his head, he didn't know what to think of that one beyond someone obviously decided to cut open his head at one point.

How he got these scars and who gave them to him was behind the blacked out area's of the files about himself that he was given by Jack Crawford, who gave them to Will out of guilt. Guilt for what, Will wasn't entirely sure of. Will was aware of the fact that the area's that were blacked out was to protect him from either himself or from someone else. Someone who was possibly dangerous.

“Will, are you okay?”

It was still Molly at his door. Molly who was kind and so very patient. There was times where she made him smile and Will liked to think that he might have loved her, he must have if he married her. But as he was now, Will can't be what she needs him to be and he isn't himself and he doesn't know if he could have loved her properly even if he was himself. But Will has discovered that he was selfish and he'll take what he can get because he doesn't know how much he'll get. It's almost like he was afraid of what he has being stolen away from him somehow. It was something Will had to push aside. More times then he liked to admit. When he does shake that feeling, he focuses on her friendship and plans to stick around for as long as she was willing to have him here with her and her son.

“Fine.” It's all he gives her, brisk answers felt normal but he softens the tone enough because she is kind.

Now that he was up, Will found himself happy enough that he managed to sleep most of the night this time. It was something that doesn't happen often, he had nightmares that meant nothing to him and yet they should have meant everything to him. Will doesn't know if they were memories or symbols that could lead to memories. Despite all that, he makes sure to write it down in a journal just in case. Half of this journal was filled with snippets of his nightmares or doodles of things that could almost resemble animals or man like shapes. He had two other journal's at one time. Filled to the brim, but they disappeared and Will thinks someone might have stolen them from him. It wasn't Molly though, not Walter either.

Someone was stealing from him and someone was trying to protect him. Or at least Will could assume and with his mind as messed up as it was, it wasn't hard to imagine that someone would have shaky morals when it comes to helping him in some way.

Reaching for the journal and a pen Will pauses at the sight of a teacup sitting there almost ominously despite it just being a simple small teacup. Will didn't know why he had a teacup on his nightstand, but he knows enough that it means something important. Somehow. On it was the name Abigail. A girl or woman he should know somehow, but doesn't. Pushing that aside he picks up his journal and writes down what he can remember. The journal's was Molly's idea. She liked to try to help him with things from idea's to picking out his clothing. And to be honest, Will didn't have the heart to tell her he doesn't need help with that because he does remember how to dress himself and look after himself. It was just memories connected to things from his past up to the point of his accident that he doesn't have.

He knows how to write, but doesn't remember who or when he was taught as a child. He knows how to clean and gut a fish, but doesn't remember being taught or who taught him. Will liked to think it was a father figure that did. It was a happy thought because he liked to help Walter.

Regardless, Will allows her to do so help him in such matters. He tries to make it easy on her so she's not so weighed down by the burden it could pose in due time. But two years and she's still going strong. So Will will be selfish.

He hears his name being called through the door again and Will knows that it was time to start his day.

Will Graham's day's are usually the same. It starts with him getting up and gets himself ready for his day. He goes out and has breakfast. Sometimes he cooks the breakfast and feels like it was important, the kitchen at the very least. He doesn't know why, he doesn't think he was someone who likes to cook but it was important and Molly humours him hoping that his memory is jogged about something while in the kitchen. She oftentimes asks him why he freezes at the sight of meat with a weariness she clearly doesn't know what to think of. That made two of them. After breakfast Will would make himself busy with tasks around the house or around the property unless something else was to be done. Will likes to think he's keeping the place together at least physically. The dogs are always happy to follow him around outside so that was always worthwhile to have.

Will enjoys dogs, so he knows even without the memories that they are important. They accept him even though he doesn't remember when he first meets most of them. And that made things better.

Still, Will knows he would never shake the sensation of something being lost. Like he should be doing something else, going somewhere else.

It is oftentimes frustrating.

Will almost described his life here as maddeningly polite. If there was such a thing.

Too calm. Too mundane and the world is too small. But Will keeps this to himself.

Today Will had every intention of tending to the fence. It wasn't causing too much of a problem but it was best to get to it before it does become a problem. Molly was after him instantly to make sure he was bundled warmly and Will wonders when he became another one of her children? All the same, she was a natural caretaker and a dear friend. He didn't need his memories to tell him that.

The dogs were already falling in line and chasing after him and playing with each other. It is a pleasing sight and Will enjoyed having the air on his face. It seemed to push away the burden of not knowing, at least temporarily.

It was easy to lose himself in his work.

Today, the thing that pulled his attention from his work was the sight of a black SUV parked near the house a conversation being held on the porch. One of them he instantly knew was Molly, it took him a moment to note that the second was Jack Crawford, the head of the BAU. Will knows from one of his files that he worked with Jack on cases and from conversations with Jack that they disagreed on the name the Evil Minds Research Museum. Will found the name highly inappropriate so he could see why he disagreed with Jack there. As for the cases he worked with Jack on, there was no information. He just knows that it was several and from snippets of conversations where confessions were accidentally made, those cases were the beginning of the end for him somehow.

Will found himself frowning and his stomach turning in an unfamiliar way. Jack's visits never caused this reaction before, so why now? Watching for a moment, he could see that it was a disagreement and Molly was not getting anywhere in it. Still, she wasn't backing down and Will admired her for that. She was strong that way.

Without any further delay, Will approached the situation. Both of them stopping when he got close enough and focusing on him, Will even now didn't really appreciate all attention being on him and expecting something out of him.

“Jack. Molly.” Will greeted, gaining a greeting from Jack and a shaky smile from Molly. She's hurting and worried. Will disliked Jack for that, but his own curiosity was enough to set that aside for a moment and question Jack on what he wanted.

“I wanted to give you this, and then talk to you about something.” Jack answered handing Will an envelope. Will eyed Jack for a moment before heading inside, greeting Walter who was watching baseball. He does that when stressed and that usually comes about when he hears his mother fighting with someone or when Will is having a particularly bad day after bloody nightmares. Molly and Jack followed Will to the table where he sat down and opened it.

_Dear Will, we have all found a new life, but our old lives hover in the shadows. Soon enough I fear Jack Crawford will come knocking. I would encourage you, as a friend, not to step back through the door he holds open. It's dark on the other side, and madness is waiting._

_Hannibal_

Will had no idea who it was from aside from the name that was written at the end of the short letter. Why would Jack think that Will would know anything about this letter or what it meant was beyond Will at the moment.

“This supposed to mean something to me?” Will knows his voice held more attitude then what he probably meant, but who knows with the blank spots where a memory of why should have been. Instead of gaining an answer, Will was told to look at the articles that was sent with it. About the families murdered. Molly turned away. Will always knew Molly was informed of Will's past to some degree by one Doctor Alana Bloom while Will was in the hospital after his accident. Will thinks Molly was informed of all the negative things that could happen if Will was to fall back in line with his past dealings with the FBI and Jack.

But it wasn't anyone's decision but Will's. They knew this, and Will hoped they will respect that.

“And?” Will wanted answers, proper answers rather than allusive ones that come in the form of a letter from someone he doesn't know anymore and articles of two murders Will knows nothing of beyond what the media was allowed to answer.

“I need your help -” Jack started, an ugly sound came from Molly as she left the room for a moment. She was both upset and angry and now on the phone with someone. Jack eyed her with barely there patience before continuing, “- I know you don't have your memories, but I've been told that your skills are still yours. Who knows, it could help you recall something the natural way rather then going through your own reco-”

“The records that I'm allowed to have you mean. I know I've been kept in the dark, we don't get mail here from certain places and sometimes there's pieces missing.” Will knows that Jack can hear Will's displeasure about the whole thing. But Will knows that Jack will do nothing about it.

“Will you know that I would love to give you every bit of information that I know, but I can't. My hands are tied and trust me, it's for your own good.” Jack said, almost pleading. If it was for his own good, why was Jack here asking to bring him into a situation that could have caused him so much harm before? Jack up until now was like everyone else, keeping him naive to whatever pain he suffered in the past and during those cases.

He doesn't know who gave him the scar on his belly or the scars on his face. They felt heavy some days and accusing.

Will gives Jack a hard look, avoids his eyes enough that Will didn't feel overwhelmed by the eye contact but he left no room for Jack to avoid him. And Will knows that Jack was unnerved slightly, by the amount of attention pointed his way.

“If I go with you, you give me access to those blacked out area's in my files.” Will decided and he would have what he wants for a change and Will finds he was tired of trying to figure things out through notes in a journal about dreams that tell him nothing but horror stories in between moments of near serenity found in a river with a faceless girl of an age he didn't know. They were sometimes fishing. Sometimes they were observing a decomposed animal, possibly a stag? No words are ever exchanged, he had no voice to put to her just as he had no face or no name.

“Will-” Jack tried. Will wouldn't have it. Now that he seemed so close to the possibility of having answers, he wants it. Molly could see this as she enters, there are tears threatening to form in her eyes. Will didn't know what she was told or when or who, but Will wanted to have words with whoever it was. He didn't like to see her like this.

“Give me that information or the answer is no and will forever be no.” Will knows he had what Jack wanted and now he knows he could withhold it. But Jack believed he had a card to play in this, that much Will can see. A head tilt was all that knowledge gained as Will gave Jack a chance to use that said card.

“People are d-” There it was. And although Will felt bad for the families, he knows something should be done to stop the killing. Will still wanted what he wanted. So he stood his ground in this and Jack probably wasn't entirely enjoying that fact.

“People die every day Jack. I need to know.” Will could see the shock on Jack's face, and he could see that Jack was trying to compare Will to who Jack knew who Will was when he had his memories. Will wondered what Jack saw. Who he saw sitting in Will's place maybe. Will didn't even fully realize that he had his legs crossed and his hands folded neatly in his lap.

Jack's phone rang, but he ignored it. Instead, it remained a bit of a stand off between Will and Jack. It wasn't until a defeated and annoyed, “Fine.” that it ended and Will agreed to pack.


	2. Chapter 2

_“We couldn't leave without you.”_

Will jerked forward, a stabbing sensation in his stomach caused him to clutch it. Will expected there to be blood, but there wasn't. Just a swerve of a car and a curse before the vehicle came to a stop. His name was being called. It was Jack, Will was in the vehicle with Jack Crawford. He was going with Jack to assist with a case and perhaps find more about himself in the meantime. Knowing this, reminding himself about this did nothing to calm his heartbeat and the heartbreak he swore was cutting him from the inside out.

“Will!”

Will wanted Jack to shut up, he didn't want to hear his voice. Concerned or otherwise as Will released his seat belt and opened his shirt staring at a healed scar that for a moment felt warm and wet. Looking out the window Will fought down the instinct to write down what he remembered from this nightmare. One that involved blood and pain and betrayal. And Will felt betrayed and indecisive and the amount of distress he was in at the moment gave him the sensation that if he had anything in his stomach, it would have come up by now.

_“You can make it all go away. Put your head back. Close your eyes. Wade into the quiet of the stream.”_

Was his betrayer someone he trusted, Will wouldn't tell anyone about his stream unless he trusted them somehow. Or felt a deep connection? Was this betrayer apart of that blacked out history that Will was seeking out? He must be, it felt too fresh to be anything but that.

A firm grip on his shoulder made him jerk way as though that hand could be the one holding the knife. Will reminded himself that it was only Jack here with him, Jack won't hurt him. Will tried to wave him off, to pacify him.

“Maybe letting you get involved with your past isn't a good idea.” Jack stated, almost despairing at the notion that he could be making a mistake and Will grinned bitterly. Of course.

“You need me to work your case for you, Jack. I may not have my own memories, but I do know if only by instinct that you don't have anyone else who can do what I can do.” Will felt a bitter taste settle in his mouth, Jack won't need much of a push to get past this mood because there were people at stake and Jack needed this case closed. Jack always seemed like a man who knows how to push to get what he wanted, just enough of a bully in him to manage it. And enough of a decent guy that most can forgive the browbeating that felt normal with Jack.

Funny how he knows this but doesn't have the memory of the experiences that may have given him such knowledge.

“You're right.” Jack agreed, a deep sigh was enough for Will to let him know that Jack was at least treating this situation for what it was and not taking it lightly. Continuing with a calm, “I promised Molly I'll keep an eye on you. In the meantime, I think some late breakfast could do us some good.” The statement of soothing nerves was left unsaid as Jack started driving again, letting Will put on his seat belt as they go. His shirt still open and Will still paid his scar attention.

It felt heavy today if that was even possible.

Will wasn't much of a breakfast person, but today it sounded like a good idea. So long as Jack was paying. Jack had eggs that were sunny side up and toast. Will had scrambled eggs with sausage. While they ate, they made conversation. It was awkward, but at least no one could say they didn't at least attempt conversation. After their agreements and conversations during the last visit Jack made that ended with Will accompanying him, it was a bit hard to find a certain ease between them.

Will was fine with that, Jack would get over it.

“So you want to head straight to the Leeds household?” Jack pushed the conversation to a more work related and Will was fine with this. It was easier because it was nothing personal here. Just work. There was the question of whether or not Jack thought Will could still work cases. If he even knew how without past memories to use as an example of what he should do.

“I would prefer it, though it would be best if I at least drop my stuff off at the hotel and find the local cab number so I can get back to it afterward.” Will explained, he didn't bother to reassure Jack that Will knows what to do. He had his files from his time as a homicide detective in New Orleans, he knows the routine that he preferred when it comes to finding out the possible why's and the how's first hand. There was no question that Will knows what he's doing.

Or at least, in theory.

Jack volunteered to wait for Will to finish, but Will told him no. When they get to the Leeds house after the quick stop at the hotel. Will wanted Jack to go away. It didn't make Jack happy, but he accepted it. After all, Will can be pretty convincing when he really wanted to be. And he wanted to be alone for this. He needed to be alone to get to know who this killer was. Will knows that there are concerns, given that he has none of his own memories are where they should be and Will was now going to go get inside of someone's head to figure out how to catch them.

After all, would that not threaten who he is at the moment?

No, Will didn't think so. This was who he was, the guy who catches the killer by thinking like the killer. Will knows this from what he's gathered in the files he did have access to. Soon he will have access to everything else. But he'll give Jack time to get that together before he enforces his own wishes. His phone buzzed, Molly asking him if he's there yet. Not being a very social guy Will was tempted to just ignore it. But it was Molly and due to her kindness and the fact that for some reason married to him, so Will answered her with quick words letting her know that he wasn't there yet and he was fine. He asked how she was, how Walter was. It was only proper.

They both were doing good, the dogs as well.

“Ready to go?” Jack asked, pulling out his wallet and Will confirmed that he was by heading out to the SUV and waiting for it to be unlocked. Ten minutes later Jack exited the restaurant while saying, “You could have got the tip you know.”

A snort with the response, “You had everything handled just fine Jack.” Was the only thing Will had to say on the matter. A bit of an asshole move, but Will never promised anything else. He never did it feels like.

Not even five minutes later, they were on the road again. Jack got a phone call and Will calmly listened, someone was not entirely happy with him on the other end and Will wondered who it was. The disagreement was about him, though he wasn't openly mentioned or hinted at. Will knows for a fact that it was about him. Jack made up the lie that he was breaking up on his end and hung up, for an FBI agent, Will expected better acting skills than this.

Will said nothing about the whole thing and just focused on what was outside of the window.

_~ Line Break ~_

The hotel trip was finished and Will found himself standing in the backyard of the Leeds house taking note of the basics already. The dog house, empty. Making a note to ask about that, Will moved to the house. Removing the police tape, Will ventured inside. Will scanned the area, looking carefully and making sure he didn't risk disturbing evidence. The file read the contents of the fridge, though Will took a look inside anyway and took note of the cheese. Making sure to get Jack to have someone test that for evidence because it looked out of place. The bite was too jagged for a child's bite. And the fridge spoke of a family that liked to keep things organized.

Next stop would be upstairs, something Will did carefully taking note of the kid's bedroom and letting a small shudder pass through him. They were only children. Only children. Red string tracked the spray of blood. This wasn't the main stop, Will had to keep moving to the master bedroom noting the blood along the way.

With a breath and a straightening of his spine, Will entered the bedroom noting the broken mirror on the wall before staring at the amount of blood staining the bed and the walls, letting his eyes follow the red string that showed the trajectory of the blood spray. This family suffered a brutal death. There was no mistake about that.

But noting the obvious, was not what Will was here for.

Taking a deep breath in, Will closed his eyes and heard the sound of something swinging in his mind. As he does, with every swing time started to reverse. Blood pulled away from the walls and back into bodies that were no longer there. And once more, the family was alive. If only in Will's mind and if only for the time being.

They were going to live through their deaths once more and Will was going to see how.

Will was going to act it out as though he was this Tooth Fairy.

_Will can see himself stride in. He was a different person, he was large and he was aggressive. Will can see himself, feel himself slash Mr. Leeds throat and watched as the man groped blindly to attempt to stem the blood that comes from his throat. It felt familiar but that was unimportant. Will wasn't himself right now, he was the Tooth Fairy killer and he was murdering the Leeds family. His voice was calm,_

_“I cut Mr. Leeds's throat as he lay asleep beside his wife.” Will knows this is the time that the light is to be turned on, so Will leaves a smear of blood. Will chooses this time to shoot her in the abdomen. The gun would have a silencer on, no need to make extra noise here. “I shoot Mrs. Leeds. The bullet enters to the right of her navel and lodges in her lumbar spine.” The gunshot wasn't to kill, Will knows this. Mr. Leeds was moving towards Will, not successful in stopping the blood flow, but not caring. His own life taking a backseat. And Will knows why._

_“Mr. Leeds rises, with his throat cut, and tries to protect the children.” It was clear to Will. Will shoves Mr. Leeds aside, choosing not to pay too much mind to Mr. Leeds moving towards him. With that done, other business was to be tended to now. Methodically Will moves towards the boy's room. He kills them. “I shoot one of the two boys in bed. The other boy I drag out from under his bed and shoot him on the floor.” The way back to the Master bedroom, Will watches Mr. Leeds stagger in his direction and covered in blood, though he collapses before he can reach Will. This does not gain a reaction._

_“All of them are dead, except possibly Mrs. Leeds.” It felt like a fact and Will continued with a calm, “The smashing of mirrors begins.” Every mirror Will can find in the house was smashed, his reflection was skewered and shards were stolen to be lodged over Mrs. Leeds's eyes and mouth. But it didn't feel right yet. This was an incomplete scene._

_Focusing further, though hard as it was. Will points out to himself quietly, “I moved the family after they were dead and then put them back the way they were when I killed them.” The bloodstains spoke through smears on the walls and from the hallway. The bodies of the children and the husband fit properly in place. Will knows what this was, this was what he wanted them to do. What the Tooth Fairy wanted from them. “I wanted them to watch.” Turning towards Mrs. Leeds who was still alive but powerless, she writhes where she was. “Talcum powder on the body... but there was none in the house...” The sight of gloves on his hands provide the answer, and he knows he takes it off. “I have to touch her...”_

_He reaches towards her, the red stains that were fresh in his mind and old in reality give way to the red strings that create a near-shape of wings behind Will. “This is my design.”_

It takes him a moment to catch himself. To pull himself free from what he's saw and what he imagines doing. It was disconcerting on how normal it felt, the only thing that felt off was how different to what it could have very well been. Will wonders if Molly would get terribly upset with him if he drinks himself to sleep tonight? She hid most of the alcohol in her house, only letting Will have some gradually rather than letting him get into it on his own terms.

She probably would. Still, it was incredibly tempting and it was hard to shake the notion as he exited the Leeds house to see Jack's SUV still there. Will frowned.

“Decided to drive you back to the hotel room, saves you money that way.” Jack stated and Will frowned. Will's skin felt tight and restrictive. He didn't want to socialize or deal with people at the moment. But there is little he could do about it as he allowed Jack to drive him away from the crime scene. Will dealt with the questions on whether or not he was okay with harsh responses and eventually Jack backed off. It feels like he always backed off too easily. It was odd to have that sensation when he didn't remember the reasons behind that feeling.

“There was cheese in the fridge. Did you get that?” Will asked and Jack made a note to get it to Zeller. Will hoped that they all wore name tags for the sake of Will not making a fool of himself. Once he gets to the laboratory tomorrow in order to work on the case. He wonders if they were warned that Will wouldn't remember them. If Jack remembered to do that.

“They know right? The people you work with, they know I won't know them. Right?” Will asked. He didn't know why it bothered him so suddenly. Almost like he was worried that they wouldn't know or wouldn't remember him. It was bad enough that he didn't remember a lot of things, but the notion that he was forgettable as well was concerning.

Will kept looking straight in order to avoid the concerned glance directed his way. Before Will could get angry with Jack for that look, the man said, “They know. They won't treat you any differently either, you were never close to them. The only one you would have been close to was Beverly, she was the only one who didn't treat you with kid gloves or react to anything weird you may have said.”

“So saying weird things is normal for me?” Will couldn't help but ask and wonder more about Beverly. Could she have been a friend? Will wished he could remember. Jack laughed and only confirmed that sometimes he said weird things. Will let himself find a bit of amusement there and confirmed that at least that wouldn't have changed, Will still found himself creeping people out with how he behaves. Bless Molly, she was a saint for putting up with him.

Hotel tonight and Jack made plans to swing by in the morning around nine and bring him into the laboratory so he could work on the case with everyone else. Will found it agreeable, and it would give Jack time to make sure that everyone knows for sure that Will can't remember them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter is good, this is the first time I tried to write out the motion of Will going through a scene.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Will found Jack was a few hours early and parked outside of Will's hotel room. He had a file tucked under his arm while he rubbed his hands together due to the chill that was present. Will hoped it would warm up later, but given that he will be indoors mostly it wouldn't bother him too much if it didn't. Will just preferred warmer temperatures and he thinks that it's perhaps due to his childhood according to his files.

“How was your night?” Jack asked as Will approached, Will appreciated the attempt in niceties though it was too early for Will to really want to chat. So rather than returning the sentiment, Will simply stated the obvious, “You're early.” At least Jack sent him a text that saved him from a, particularly bloody nightmare. He couldn't understand what a wrong looking stag had anything to do with anything. But in his nightmare, there it was dripping with blood and waiting patiently for him.

Will knows it was waiting for him, but he doesn't know why and his instinct was torn in wanting to embrace that animal despite its dark feathered coat dripping with blood or to run from the frightening otherworldly appearance it seems to hold so naturally.

“Figured we should have a sit down, talk before we get further with this case.” Jack sounded cautious, like someone got to him between the moment he left Will here and this morning. Someone warning him on something that wasn't Molly. Will was both concerned and very curious on who it could be that had enough sway with a man who seems as bullheaded as Jack is, to successfully move him to caution.

Will agreed without words as he followed after Jack and climbed into the passenger seat, Jack figured breakfast would do them some good. Will wasn't in disagreement so long as Jack was once again paying, Will had to look to see how much money he had available to him later. It wasn't that Molly didn't trust him, it was Will's choice. Instinct had him always thinking that he was poor when Will knows that he and Molly are doing pretty good.

That and something told him, Jack at least owed him this much.

“Is that what the file is for?” Will asked as it was handed to him as he done up the seat belt. Opening it, it wasn't. It was single paged profiles. People Will knows for a fact that Jack works with. Will doesn't know if he should be insulted. Yes, he knows he doesn't remember them or wouldn't be able to recognize them in a crowd beyond the sensation of knowing them one time or knowing he should know them. But he didn't need a blunt reminder of how damaged he is.

“Thanks.” He knows his word was curt and far from insulting as he closed it before saying, “They have ID's on there person, or they could have introduced themselves again. I didn't need a reminder of how-” Will cut himself off. A voice of someone he doesn't know reminded him that what he just did was very rude. Chastising maybe? Will didn't know and at the moment, he could care less as he closed it and put it on the dashboard. He gets why Jack was doing this. He does, but Will wished he didn't and didn't have to even consider such a move.

“I didn't mean to insult you. Just figured you would want to get that out of the way so you didn't have to put yourself through it later.” It was funny hearing Jack sound smaller then what he is, and Will knows that in order to appreciate that he would need his memories. But he doesn't and instead Will waved him off and looked out the passenger window. He didn't have much of an appetite and made note to pay this time.

Will wasn't good with apologies.

At the restaurant, Will only ordered coffee and Jack copied him. Will wondered if he was hungry or if Will should order some food.

“I didn't want you to walk in blind Will.” Jack offered once he was half way through his own coffee and Will only taking a sip so far. Will knows and he let Jack know that he knew. It still stung. So Will moved passed that as best that he could by asking why Jack was so cautious this morning, and what else he wanted to speak about. It was a near blunt inquiry on who got to Jack to get him to play his cards more carefully.

“Dr. Bloom spoke with me, she's concerned that you're back and warning me that I should keep you away from where she works at the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane.” Jack explained and Will wondered why that was. He knows who Dr. Alana Bloom is, she was one of the ones who helped Molly get him back to his feet. But he doesn't know why she would warn Jack in keeping Will away from there. Further more, why was Jack deliberately mentioning it. He could have lied to Will. But he didn't, he wanted Will to know something.

To further Jack's own goals in catching killers? Will didn't know.

“Okay. But why, what's there that has her worried enough to caution you about it?” Will asked. What was there or who was there that Dr. Bloom didn't want him to see or meet? This would bother him now, and he didn't know if that was a good thing. Though knowing himself, Will thinks it isn't a good thing.

“That's a conversation for another time, finish your coffee Will. We have work to do.” Jack answered causing a frown out of Will. Deciding that he didn't want his coffee after all, Will pushed it aside and grabbed the receipt before Jack could.

~ Line Break ~

Will had to admit, as he stared at the building that fit it's name perfectly, the BAU Headquarters, it was a normal feeling to be here. This was work and this was somewhere he was once used to coming to. A lifetime ago and for someone else, but it still felt normal to Will as he is now. And this was a good thing, right? Regardless though, Jack seemed to be pleased and it is clear to Will that Jack had hope that Will's presence could help with the case in regards to getting it solved quicker.

Will wasn't sure if it will be, but he was willing to give it a try and followed after Jack as he approached the rest of his team whose faces were only in a file this morning for Will. They fell into line with Jack, they clearly worked with him a long time. Though this didn't stop the moment stolen to observe and greet Will.

They seemed to stop what they were doing and seemed genuinely shocked at seeing him. Whether it was a pleasant surprise or not, has yet to be seen.

“I can't believe you're back. I'm surprised-” Will cut the man-Jimmy Price off saying, “I'm not back, officially. I-” The whole situation now reminding Will that he wasn't good with meetings first or second for that matter. There was also the awkward part of not remembering them and not sure if they remember you at all. It was Brian Zeller who spoke up enough to let Will know that they were aware that he didn't have his memories.

“If you know, then why did you think I was back?” Will knows that technically he was back, but only for one case and unofficially at best. Did they assume that he would be sticking around, or did he leave before for an odd reason and abruptly come back? There was a story here, Will knows and he knows that eventually, he will get a chance to explore that.

Will made a note to remember to look into that later, when he gets the rest of his files from Jack that aren't blacked out.

For now, with the brief and stiff awkward first meetings out of the way, they got to work.

Will stood by Jack, while they all focused on the screen.

“The mirror pieces all had those smooth prints. Forefinger on the back of the piece wedged in the labia, smudged thumb on the front.” Price explained and Will knows the answer as to why this was because Will spent last night diving into this killer's mind, so Will gave them the reason with a steady, “He polished it after he placed it, so he could see his face in there.” Whether or not they actually needed the why as much as the who and how was currently unknown to Will.

“One in her mouth was obscured with blood. Same with the eyes. Ran an AFIS. He's not in the print index.” Price seemed to handle the how just fine, at least to Will he did. For the moment, all he had to do really was stand back and allow these two professional's work and provide answers to one thing or another. Everyone at some point had something to say, whether it was to do with evidence or if it was just a comment.

Will didn't know, or remember them well enough to say nothing more then the basic information that they would have to look out for, “He may have a history of biting in lesser assaults. May be a fighting pattern as much as sexual behaviour.” It was useful, at least to Will it was useful and could be used. Jack seemed to agree with him easily and Will caught the surprised expression on Zeller's face. Was Jack agreeing with him a rare thing? Given Zeller's surprise it could have easily been the case.

They all spent a few hours going over evidence and Will helping them put together a profile of this killer, as best that he could with the cases that was attached to it and what Will can remember doing at least to some point. His memories weren't attached to the know how, but he still knows how to do what he seems to do very well. Both Zeller and Price seemed pleased by this, so Will figures it to be a good thing and welcomes the change in his life to allow him to experience this to some degree at least.

Despite this, it felt like something was off. He knows he's out of practice but even by that standard, something was not quite right. He wasn't close enough, he didn't understand it as well as he should. He knows he should understand the killers better than this.

So Will waited until they were in Jack's office before Will sat down and confessed this. Jack seemed worried, or at least appeared to be worried.

“I don't think I'm going to be of any use to you like this Jack. I only understand first year student levels of understand, not the kind that I should be able to understand normally. Something's missing and I don't know what or how or even when I needed something beyond my own imagination and empathy to understand what's going on in someone's head.” Will complained, it was interesting to have himself remain sitting while doing so. Jack rubbed his face slightly and sat back, offering the explanation that this just might be nerves getting the best of him. It could be, Will knows that this was a real cause for slower understandings in some people just coming back to work. But Will's instinct told him otherwise.

“Isn't there anything else, that you can think of that could help me with this Jack?” Will asked and watched as Jack's caution seem to ramp up at this point. It was almost like he was now regretting his decisions, but not enough to stop all of this from happening. After all, it was Jack who came to Will for help. It reminded him of what Jack said earlier today, about keeping him away from the BSHCI.

“No, but keep in mind you've been off for close to four years and this is just your first day back. Give it some time. If things don't get better, then we'll talk.” Jack offered up, it felt like this was the only thing Will would be able to get out of him at the moment. So accepting it was something that is a must, at least at the moment and despite his own doubt about time being the answer he went back to the area where Zeller and Price were working. They tried there hardest to make Will feel welcomed, the small talk was painfully awkward and Will had to laugh a bit at that.

However, the awkwardness seemed to dissipate when they started to talk about a co-worker of theirs that used to work here and went by the name Beverly Katz. Will knows that he should have remembered her, but like everything else she was torn from Will as well. It was a shame because Will didn't know if he liked her or not or if she liked him or not.

“Where is she?” Will asked and instantly regretted asking, that happiness he saw in them seemed to die down and darken with grief. She was killed, or at least Will figured she was.

“She was kill-” Zeller started to say, there was honest grief in his voice.

“-Murdered and put on display.” Price corrected, and it felt like it was a correction. The grief was the same for him as well, Will figured they were close to her. Will wanted to ask who did it. Who murdered their co-worker, but decided that it would be best if he just let the conversation go and they can all go back to work. In the back of his mind, he cursed because this was something else he should have known, but didn't.

Will goes back to Jack's office not too long after that awkward and unfortunate ending to the conversation he was having with Zeller and Price, one that left a bitter taste in his mouth. He should have known better. And not for the first time, he cursed not having his memories.

Jack didn't have a chance to say anything as Will declared, “I'm not rusty, I don't get rusty. My empathy and my imagination doesn't have an off button, Jack. What I am missing is simple.” Or perhaps not so simple as he would like to call it. But time will tell just how complicated it actually can be.

“And what's that?” Jack asked, looking up at Will and clearly not approving of Will just entering like he did.

“The mindset. I need a way to recover it.” Will stated and for a moment, if only a brief one. Jack looked aged.

“I was afraid you would say that. Memory or not.” Jack said and Will frowned before finding himself bluntly told no. He had to work on this case like everyone else, he would have to learn how to do it without the mindset that only killers should have. According to Jack anyway.

Will left the office and then the building disappointed and unsure of what to do. There was also that and the fact that he had no car, yet stood in a spot where only those who work here park. He simply explained it away as the fact that this was the area Jack parked. Cursing his luck Will knows that he either had to go back inside and ask for a ride back to the hotel or he had to call a taxi, both of which left a sour taste in Will's mouth. There was also the fact that he was getting hungry, vending machine food wasn't all that great or helpful.

Taking his glasses off, Will rubbed his face with a frustrated sigh. Only to stop with his hand over his mouth feeling a breath at the back of his neck when there was no one there. It did nothing to improve his mood, so with a curse to accompany the constant frown he seemed to have had since he left Jack's office Will pulled out his phone. It rang before he could dial the taxi number.

It was Jack.

Will was tempted to hang up, very tempted to. But he found himself answering without a word.

“Fine, let me talk to Alana and see what she says. But I might know someone that can help you. I just hope I'm not making a mistake by this.” Jack's voice sounded resigned. It left Will wondering what was at the BSHCI that was so bad that had Jack saying what he did? Was this help in the form of a patient? And how could a patient help Will with something like this? Or perhaps it's because that patient had a mindset that Will would need to borrow?

It left Will curious.

Jack didn't offer Will a ride, and he didn't ask for one as he hung up to dial the taxi number. Tomorrow he might be getting some more answers or he might be faced with even more questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter Will and Hannibal meet face to face. Though it's going to be interesting because this is where the story splits off from Season 3 though I'll be snatching bits and pieces to reshape into this story.


	4. Chapter 4

_“I want you to know exactly where I am. And where you can find me.”_

Will found himself laying in bed, after hearing those words echo in his mind. He felt resigned and tired, so very tired and weighed down. Yet he didn't know what had him feeling like that. And not knowing was the frustrating part. His head ached where the scar was located, like it was a phantom pain from a memory and a time that was beyond Will. But then, everything was beyond him at the moment. The future. The past. All he had was now and even that was only half way.

Gingerly he touched his forehead and lightly ran his fingers across the raised scar. He expected it to be split open and bloodied then sewed together only moments ago. Letting out a sigh, Will felt like new weights were added to the ones he already tried to carry. Pinning him to the hotel bed and leaving him drained and resigned.

Will knows he had to shake these emotions, force himself past it. After all he was still here, and he was fully healed physically. So that meant he made it, past whatever it was that he had to get past. And he was closer to finding out more about himself. And he was working again, Jack did say during the trip from Molly's that he was going to get paid for this. And that was a good thing, he could help Molly that way. She deserved it after taking such good care of him.

His phone rang. It was a good tether, pulling him from his sullen mood and state. Will found himself relieved when he saw Molly's name instead of everyone else. Will answered and didn't bother moving from the bed as they spoke. She told him how Walter was doing, how she's doing and she expressed concern for him. Made sure he was eating at least and made him promise that he would eat more regularly. She was always worrying it seemed, though she flourished when she had a chance to be a caretaker.

It was her most common state in some ways, Will remembers waking up to her constant fretting over his body in the hospital. Though Will tried not to remember the hurt and concern on her face when she realized something was amiss. That Will didn't remember her or know her when he woke up, beaten and sore.

It was from her that Will learnt of his unfortunate luck, his accident and evidence that Will was in a fight of some sort before that. Though it was the accident that stole Will's memories. That the impact was enough to damage his brain, more specifically the area that deals with memory among other things. The temporal lobe, they also speculated that the damage he suffered from having Encephalitis could have had a hand in it as well. Will had to look it up to understand what it was, shuddering at the thought of having something like that with his imagination and empathy as it already was.

Beyond the physical part of it, the doctor's couldn't explain why Will hasn't gained or started gaining his memories back through natural means. But then it was also said that it could take years for that to happen. And Will had to admit to himself that it could also be psychological as well. Given his nightmares, it wasn't hard to see why his mind seemed to feel not remembering is a better choice. Considering how frustrating not knowing is.

With a sigh, Will forced himself to move enough to check the time.

8:15 AM

It was time he should get up now and get showered and ready before Jack gets here around ten. Especially if he wanted to get himself into a place past the weariness he felt this morning.

~ Line Break ~

Will couldn't help but feeling threatened as he stood next to Jack overlooking the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. It felt familiar and in all the wrong ways, something Will didn't know how to feel about. Will asked Jack about it, but he sidestepped the question saying that it would be in the files that were being gathered for Will. There was guilt there.

“We could always turn back.” Jack offered, Will wanted to scoff at that. They both knew that they couldn't, they had a killer to catch and someone in this building was equipped to assisting Will in the chase. Consequences be damned obviously.

“Let's go.” Will forced out as he moved forward towards the entrance. There was a woman waiting, Will noticed her lips right away. They were bright red and Will couldn't help but liken it to blood somehow. He knows who she is, from his files. Though looking at her now, she looked nothing like she did in the picture that goes with that file. She was softer in the picture, the one standing at the entrance was sharp and closed off.

“Alana.” Jack greeted her, she smiled as she returned the greeting while seemingly warming slightly. There is a familiarity between these two.

“Will.” She greeted him, the same small warmth in her but this time for Will. Will smiled, although it was awkward. She was disappointed when he greeted her by her title as Dr. Bloom rather than her first name. She corrected him, but in a way that didn't force Will to feel chastised. For that, he was grateful and felt that once upon a time the same correction started him calling her by her first name happened.

She led them to her office and offered them something to drink. Will wanted something stronger than coffee so that he didn't feel so trapped here. Jack offered to go get the coffee to give Will time with her alone. Something he wasn't sure on how to feel about.

“Are you sure about this?” Dr. Bloom asked, her guard seemed even less now that Jack was out of the room. Will confirmed, that yes he was sure of it. She clearly foresaw that and typed up a few things he would need to know about the man he was going to go speak with.

She watched Will look the information, it had the basics of what to watch out for. What not to do and warning Will that they had a personal history. Will questioned her on what sort of history, but she looked shockingly sad and regretful as a response. It didn't last long, her own life seemed to have hardened her to a point where her softness was easily tucked away rapidly.

“Was I here before?” Will asked when he figured that he wouldn't get answers regarding his history with the patient he was going to be seeing today. He might as well get some other answers when she didn't answer him as soon as he would have liked. Will continued on with a calm, “I feel like I've been here before.”

“I think it would be best to save that conversation for another day.” Dr. Bloom stated as she stood up asking him, “Are you ready?”

Why wouldn't he be? Will nodded, giving her confirmation he thinks she might need.

It was Dr. Bloom that led him to seemingly inconspicuous doors that clearly held a patient behind them. Was this a visiting room, or a meeting room? Was the patient not held somewhere else?

Before she let him enter she warned him, “Don't let him get in your head, once he's there he tends to stick around.”

That was something that concerned him, why would she warn him about that. But then, this is a place for the criminally insane. Some were probably good at getting into people's mind and messing around. Among other things, no doubt.

“The doors aren't locked, you can leave anytime you want.” She let him know before turning away and walking back to her office. Will could see that Jack was back there, Will's coffee no doubt waiting for him there. When Will was finished. Will turned away from them and pushed through the doors. And to say he was shocked was an understatement.

This wasn't a waiting room.

This was a cell. No, this was like something you would see at a zoo. The patient was on display like a prized animal. A glass wall gave no illusion that the man had no privacy here. A single bed and toilet were the closes indicators within the cell that told you that it was just that.

The man himself was standing in the centre of his cell. Looking quite pleased with himself. His hair shortened and cut at slightly uneven lengths in area's. It was done by someone who wasn't handy with giving hair cuts or it could be done to humiliate the patient. The latter seems a bit more unlikely, this was a place that was supposed to keep high standards and humiliation was something that was criminal in it's own right. Yet to Will, at the least it felt normal and he couldn't understand why. Beyond the hair, there was no doubt that the patient was clean and pristine in his enclosure.

And it was almost comical, that this man seemed to hold so much power despite being only a patient. Will would have to ask for further information on this man when he leaves here. It was his right if he was going to be using the services this man had to offer when it comes to gaining a certain mindset that is required by Will when it comes to working cases.

But that can't happen unless Will can manage to get past the sudden emotions he was forced to feel. Seemingly all at once. There was something about this man that caused him to feel so much. To feel everything from rage and anger to love in all its bitterness. A deep well of sorrow and betrayal seemed to linger as well. It was nearly suffocating and left a deep sharp ache in his chest and his stomach.

To put it simply, Will knows that this man to him means not only pain and suffering but acceptance as well.

The dominant emotions being the pain and the suffering.

“Hello Will.” The man-Dr. Hannibal Lecter greeted. His voice lilting in his own glee at Will's presence, like his being here was a victory that is soon to be held within his grasp. An odd reaction to someone's presence. Though Dr. Bloom did indicate they had a history and Will's own emotions seemed to confirm this. But the finer and perhaps more important details was lost to Will.

“Hello Dr. Lecter.” Will greeted in return, it was clear to Will that the man apparently didn't appreciate being addressed by his last name. Did this man assume that Will has made a choice to dismiss whatever they had beforehand? Though Will didn't have too much time to dwell on that, instead he took note of the fact that Dr. Lecter took a long slow breath through his nose.

“That's the atrocious aftershave you wore in court.” Dr. Lecter stated. It was a statement that caught Will's attention. Whatever history they had, involved a courtroom and Will attended it in some way. Will made sure to note to himself to look up the trial of this particular patient and given that there was a library near the hotel Will was staying at, so gaining information on that at the very least won't be too hard. And if Jack took too long in gaining further access to Will's files, Will can search for information on himself and now that he was here he had less restraint and for the first time since he lost his memories an insatiable appetite to find out more about himself.

“It's the only one I have.” Was all Will had to say on that, giving it a shrug. There must have been something missing in how he responded due to the reaction it gained from Dr. Lecter. Will now felt like he was being examined far closer then before. Every inch of him felt bare to a pair of slightly narrowed eyes staring him down. Those same eyes returned to normal after a moment, but not letting up on the intensity that could be easily found in them. And Will had to admit that his attention was intense.

“Did you get my note?” Dr. Lecter asked, now waiting poised and gauged for any response out of Will. It seemed to be a test. Somehow.

“Yes.” Will confirmed, waiting to see what sort of response that would gain and it seemed that Dr. Lecter was waiting for something. Further thoughts or reactions on the matter perhaps? Not entirely sure on that matter, Will continued with a calm, “Jack brought it with him when he came to ask me for help with the Tooth Fairy Case.” This seemed to gain further reaction out of Dr. Lecter and no doubt he was not gaining the reactions out of Will that he was hoping for. Will wondered what sort of reactions were those supposed to be.

In fact, Dr. Lecter seemed to be at a loss of what to do within his cell. Opting to position himself in front of his table and lean against it. Will felt studied. The patient in the cell simply tilted his head slightly after that, scrutinizing Will further. No doubt trying to gauge what Will knows. Or more correctly, what he doesn't know. Trying to figure out Will's angle in this situation, what game that was being played.

But Will knows that there was no game being played! This is nothing more than someone trying to gain some help from someone who could help Will gain a certain and welcomed lead in the case. Figure out how the killer is choosing his victims among other things.

The air between them from this point seemed to grow intense with confusion and now poorly hidden resentment and Will was at a loss. He doesn't know why he is causing such strong reactions out of this man before him.

“We have a history.” Will pointed out before going further, “A complicated one.” Turbulent even. But Will didn't point that out. Not with how things seemed to shift again in this room.

Somehow the air grew thicker between them, nearly suffocating Will in the process. This was a man who was clearly not taking the new shred of information well. But not moving to show many indications. No, it was all in the eyes that narrowed slightly and the increasingly tense outline of his posture. And Will can somehow spot it and read it like it was second nature to him.

“We had a history, and you weren't informed.” Will pointed out, felt like it was something that needed to be.

“How much do you remember, Will?” Dr. Lecter asked, the atmosphere between them not changing in the slightest. This wasn't why he was here. He was here to deal with a case, not his own problems at hand. And certainly not with a patient who was here for a good reason from what Will figures from the small amount of information he gained from Dr. Bloom.

“I think I should go. Jack said you would be able to help me, but I don't think this is a very good idea.” Will said, not comfortable with even broaching the topic of his memory. Or lack thereof. With one last regard towards the patient in his cell, Will turned to leave. Feeling both furious with himself and embarrassed. Furious because clearly one of them was uninformed about Will's memory loss, someone who had a lot of history with Will somehow. And embarrassed because he just wasted so much time he could have been using for the case.

Why did he even come here?!

Just as he touched the door to leave, the patient-Dr. Lecter's voice came from behind him steady and calm, “Let me have the file. An hour, and then we can discuss it.” A part of Will wondered if he should just decline that offer, but he found himself turning on autopilot and approaching the glass where the document tray was located. Dr. Lecter followed at the same pace, or was it Will walking like the patient?

“Thank you.” Will said, almost sincere as he watched Dr. Lecter picked the file up. Perhaps he might actually get somewhere with this method after all. Will felt like he was being stared at, and it turned out that he was as he looked up and saw a calculating look on the patient's face while he seemingly absentmindedly held the file in his hands.

With a near ghostlike smile, more gone then there, Dr. Lecter calmly stated, “Family values may have declined over the last century, but we still help our families when we can.” Those words seemed to cut something in Will, why would this man suddenly bring up family like this. What was his reasoning? The killer was attacking families, yet that clearly couldn't be the reason behind it. And his confusion must have shown on his face because it earned him a calm, “You're family, Will.”

Why would he say this to Will? What was he trying to get at? Who was this patient trying to get at? What was he trying to gain from it? Will didn't know, and he didn't know the point of it. It did make him wonder further of what sort of complicated history did they have? Was it that complicated, were they that close? Or someone close to them that made it so? Will felt a need to flee and emotions he couldn't explain grip his chest and made his stomach ache where the scar was located.

In the end, he did. Giving himself the excuse that it was only to give the patient an hour alone with the file before they discussed it further. Jack was waiting with Dr. Bloom in her office, there clearly was a heated discussion that was cut off as Will entered the room in a rush.

“Why didn't you tell him that I didn't know who he was?” Will demanded, not caring too much on who answered him. He needed to know why the patient wasn't informed, what were they to gain from that beyond one-sided conversation and ignorance on the important facts within that situation. Do they know what type of relationship Will had with Dr. Lecter? Would they even have the decency to tell him and stop whatever game this was? Will found himself pacing the room angrily.

You just don't do that to someone!

“Will-” Jack started but Will snapped at him, “No! No, you don't get to say anything. You drove me down here to help you with this case. I was sent into a room with someone who I apparently had complicated history with and didn't know that I can't remember anything. I was going in there blind and ignorant to it.”

“Jack didn't know that Hannibal wasn't aware of it, I haven't had the chance to sit him down and tell-” Dr. Bloom started, her posture relaxed and in a way that reminded Will of someone trying to appease someone. Ease the aggression even.

“You led me to that room Dr. Bloom, knowing this. You even told me that I had history with him. But you didn't tell me that he didn't know that I lost my memory. You let me go in there knowing that only one of us would have a full picture of the other.” Will snapped at her. They both had the decency to look ashamed of themselves. Though Will felt little appeasement on that regard, instead he walked to the window and stared out of it. He let them know stiffly that he had to go back in an hour.

Though with a bitter sneer he turned to them and asked, “Do either of you know of any other surprises I should be watching out for?” Neither of them answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was curious, does anyone want or mind if I start to switch POV's after this point?


	5. Chapter 5

Will wasn't entirely pleased with his own lack of knowledge. Even after his short confrontation with both Jack and Dr. Bloom, Will felt like he was leaving without vital information. They felt guilty, and they were regretful but it was doing nothing in providing them with the sense that they should right that wrong.

And so, Will found himself approaching the pair of double doors with the sound of bars clanging behind him. Beyond those doors, there was the man who knew him. The man who can apparently help Will with the case at hand. But now Will was left wondering about his personal history with this man and how much harm it could have done if it did harm in the first place. He only knows a snippet of information and nothing more than the fact that he has a personal history.

What Will does know now, was his name. And if neither Jack or Dr. Bloom will tell him what he wants to know about this man so Will can have some sort of idea of what he was walking into. Then Will will find out himself. He was capable after all, don't let his memory problems fool anyone.

In the meantime, he has work to do. With this resolve, Will walked through the doors that opened automatically for him.

There was music playing, classical Will figured. Either way, it did nothing for him as he focused on Dr. Lecter who was sitting at his bolted down desk still looking over the files.

“This is a very shy boy, Will. I'd love to meet him.” Was all the former doctor had to offer up, and Will could admit to himself that it sounds like something that fits this man. Though Will could never be sure, at the moment there was nothing to compare now to then and figure out the possible future in that regards. So he remained silent, wondering if there would be anything more concrete that could be offered. And despite him needing to gain a certain mindset to hunt this killer.

He was doubting his decision in going to Jack about that and in turn being brought to a place that made Will increasingly uncomfortable. Like a horrible shadow looming over him with a noose being lowered down on him.

Off Will's lack of response, Dr. Lecter offered up more, “Have you considered the possibility that he's disfigured? Or that he may believe he's disfigured?” Will had, of course, the broken mirrors were a clear sign of this for Will.

But he'll bite and say, “That's interesting.” When it wasn't.

“That's not interesting. You thought of that before.” Dr. Lecter said, of course, this man seemed to know him well. And Will was still left reeling at how little he knows and how unprepared he is for the moment and an old and now anger curled in his stomach.

Instead of paying any mind to his anger, Will pushed forward saying, “He smashed all the mirrors in the houses, not just enough to get the pieces he wanted. The shards are set so he can see himself. In their eyes. Mrs. Jacobi and Mrs. Leeds. And their families.” Will had to note that despite his own emotions, it was incredibly easy for him to converse with Dr. Lecter in regards to a case. Will would have to find out why that is and what sort of information could be found in regard to that. And this ease wasn't because Dr. Lecter was an easy guy to speak with. In fact, despite everything Will can clearly see that he was intimidating and intense at the best of times.

Possibly no longer caring to put on a more approachable mask?

Unfortunately for Will, that ease that was created was disrupted as Dr. Lecter pulled a photo from the file all the while saying, “Could you see yourself in their eyes, Will? Killing them all?” Will found himself wanting to recoil. Not because of what Dr. Lecter has said, but because of the truth behind those words and how startling that truth was.

Because yes, Will saw himself in the killer's place. Only it was broader than this, the whole thing was a mural of dragons and an angel in gold. And Will was in the position of the dragons. The killers. Will must have been too focused on what he saw in his mind and possible new puzzle pieces to fit into this whole thing, he didn't notice the fact that Dr. Lecter spoke until a tapping on the glass between them drew his attention forward and out back to Dr. Lecter.

“Are you still with me?” There was amusement in that voice and shining from those eyes, it was enough to make Will correct himself and look away. Apologizing offhandedly. He did not see the smile that remained only listened as Dr. Lecter said, “Like you, Will, he needs a family to escape what's inside him.” Words purposely picked no doubt, but all it did was confuse Will further. This man seemed to forget that Will did not have his memory. So he didn't know what the intention of those words was supposed to be. Or why he seemed to need to say them.

“And what's inside me, Dr. Lecter?” Will asked, ignoring the family part for now. He doesn't remember how he met Molly but he liked to imagine that when he had his memory he fell in love with her and this was why he married her. And Will as he now still loves her, but it didn't feel like the love of a husband. Will didn't know how that was supposed to feel. But he does know and can admit fully that he cares for Molly very much. Molly and Walter. He can still feel a decent amount of pride when Walter showed him the size of the fish he caught or when he learns something interesting in school and just has to educate Molly and Will about it.

A smile was all Will gained for an answer. Sharp and cruel, destructive and angry. All in one, did he feel betrayed for some reason that was beyond Will's knowledge? Behind Will, for a moment he felt a breath and the distant sound of hooves and a call from an animal that Will remembered in early nightmares.

A tense moment passed between them before it was broken as Dr. Lecter carried on about the case, “You know a fair amount about how these families died. How they lived is how he chooses them.” This was not entirely needed but it was something that no doubt is leading to something that could possibly help Will in the long run. Or at least he hoped it would be, so Will took the bait and asked.

“How did you choose yours? Ready made wife and child to serve your needs. A stepson or daughter -” Dr. Lecter started, only pausing slightly before correcting himself and continuing with a calm, “- a stepson absolves you of any biological blame. You know better than to breed. Can't pass on those terrible traits you fear the most.” Will wanted to recoil at this, why was Dr. Lecter saying things like this beyond simply getting into Will's mind. Because this felt like something more complicated than that, despite that it did nothing to stop Will wanting to pull away and flee. What was so bad about him having a child of his own? Having a helping hand in creating a new life? He wasn't bad, his genes weren't bad.

And what traits was he speaking of?!

Yes, Will knows he's not fully right. He can imagine things that others could not. He could understand things others are afraid of understanding. This was why Jack came to Will. Though Will did admit, it does damage having to do what he is doing. His own files state as much in most cases.

“Why are there no descriptions of the grounds? I see floor plans, diagrams of the rooms where the deaths occurred, no mention of the grounds. What were the yards like?” And just like that, Dr. Lecter was carrying on. This was normal for him no doubt. To poke at people as he wished and then to carry on like it was nothing. Will frowned and answered though his own responses were no doubt becoming detached.

He was constructing a wall. He would have to. Especially with him not having the full picture of this man and their shared history. And given that this man seemed so unnaturally skilled in poking at Will in ways that leave him recoiling and angry. There were other emotions, but these are beyond him at the moment.

“I upset you.” Dr. Lecter pointed out, himself to some degree detached.

“I'm not. What about the yards?” Will pushed forward, not wanting to talk further on his own behalf. Will knows that he will no doubt be forced to go over this conversation between himself and Dr. Lecter to try to flush out the intentions and meanings behind everything. Will just hoped it would not take too much away from Jack's investigation. He doubted he would be in a good mindset tonight to phone Molly. She will understand, though, she was an understanding person.

Will felt eyes on him for a good five minutes before he was saved from further scrutiny by Dr. Lecter explaining, “If this pilgrim feels a special relationship with the moon, he might like to go outside and look at it before he tidies himself up. If one were nude, say, it would be better to have outdoor privacy for that sort of thing. One must show some consideration for the neighbors, hmmmm?” Will could easily imagine himself in the killer's place outside and looking up to the moon. It would fit remarkably well if he were nude as well, covered in the blood of the family that has just been murdered.

Silence seemed to be a reoccurring theme at the moment as Will mused over the new information as he pulled himself from his own mind. As was Dr. Lecter's skill in disrupting that silence.

“How long have you been dealing with your memory loss?” Dr. Lecter was startlingly close to the glass and as Will took further notice of himself. So was he. Pushing himself away, Will paced the room slightly, debating on whether or not to share this information so freely. And why should he?

“Thank you for your time, Dr. Lecter. I have to go now.” Will made a special note to use his manners.

“I trust you will be back then, this shy boy is likely to kill again and you may require my assistance in gaining that mindset you require.” Dr. Lecter pointed out, secure no doubt in Will's return. Or was he hoping for it? He did seem very lifelike while Will was with him. What he was like during the rest of his time was beyond Will, he would have to see if Dr. Bloom would be willing to offer him any insight on the matter. He wasn't holding his breath, given how things have been in regards to information sharing thus far.

Will turned and made his way to the doors before a decision came to mind as he turned back to a clearly curious Dr. Lecter.

“A little over two years now. Any further information would have to be bought though.” Will answered, knowing that the man in the cell would be intelligent enough to understand what this meant.

“Quid pro quo?” Dr. Lecter seemed beyond delighted at the aspect of this.

Will left after that only stopping long enough for Jack to follow after him. They had work to do after all.

_~ Line Break ~_

Will didn't mention what could easily amount to his agreement with Dr. Lecter, Jack didn't need to know at the moment. And if felt a bit good to be the one who has a handle on some information that the other does not for a change. Since going back to work and away from the safe haven that is Molly's house, he's felt like he's been stumbling around in the dark more than usual. And not just because of his lack of memories.

He has yet to be given any information.

And he made this clear that he expected it by tomorrow as they entered the building in order to go to work. Will and Jack met up with Jimmy and Brian in the lab to go over new information and paint a fuller picture of their killer. Right away it was clear that Jimmy was particularly upset about the cat, more so then he was upset for the children or the parents for that matter. It was enough to give him an in to the conversation and a near sly way of checking up on the dog.

“What about the Leeds' dog?” Will knows it's alive or at least the last he heard, he just needed further information regarding the whole situation when it comes to the case.

“It had a puncture wound in its abdomen. Vet operated and the dog's all right. He thought it was shot at first, but they didn't find a bullet. Thinks it was stabbed with an ice pick or an awl.” Brian answered, and Will found himself frowning inward. Concern of course was there for the dog. He liked dogs, he found them to be very accepting and they didn't judge you or expect anything from you but whatever you are willing to give. Will tries to give them what he can whenever he was able to do so. And they were always happy for it.

Will tuned out Jimmy's response to that, though he agreed wholeheartedly. Instead, Will explained, “He feels compelled to hurt the victims' pets before he comes to kill the family.”

“Eliminates an early-warning system.” Jack pointed out and Will agreed silently as he listened to Jack continue with, “He's not just getting off a bus. He's got a plan. He stays in town overnight. He knows where he's going a day or two ahead. He's got some kind of idea. Case the place, kill the pet, then the family.” It was a well-formed picture of some part of this killer. But they would need more, always more.

“If the killer read a warning in the newspapers, he would probably change his method of casing a house.” And this wouldn't do, they couldn't risk him changing his hunting habits. Will knows this so he throws out an idea, “We should send a private bulletin to veterinarians and animal shelters, asking for immediate reports on animal mutilations.” He knows that Jack would agree. And perhaps given his easy assistance in this case at the moment would help motivate Jack in getting Will what he wants all that much quicker. Though he can't be too sure, either way, he hopes that what he gave could in some way help catch this killer and help save families.

That was what Will knows he would want. It was why he became a homicide detective after all. Right?

“Buffalo and Chicago are four states apart. And nothing has been found to link these two families.” Jack threw this out and Will knows how he's picking the families. It's all so easy for him in this part anyway.

So he gives them the simple reason why those families with a calm, “They were both happy.”

From there Will assisted wherever he could until he felt like he could be no further assistance and was point blank told to go to his hotel room and get some rest. With a near impassive reminder either Brian or Jimmy reminded him to eat. Will didn't know who and he was already heading out the door at this point. Though it wasn't to eat or to go to his hotel room. Instead, his mind was playing over his conversations today.

More specifically his conversation with Dr. Lecter. A big part of Will wondered just what the man must be thinking about Will not having his memories. But at the moment, there were more important things to focus on. Like this case.

So he caught a cab to the Jacobi's house so he could take a closer look around. Not inside, he's seen enough of the crime scene. He was thinking more like the backyard. Dr. Lecter did bring up good points about the back yard and Will wondered faintly how he didn't see it before. Will paid the taxi driver to stick around because Will didn't think he'll bee too long. It was just a quick look and to pick up other perspectives on what could have possibly led to before the crime took place.

The surveillance stage of this crime.

The taxi driver wasn't entirely pleased, but when Will handed over a hundred he was more than pleased to stick around. Will made a note to ask for a receipt because this was work and perhaps Jack would be ever so kind to reimburse Will for this. In the end, it only took an hour and a half plus an interesting run into a redhead who apparently knew him and had disdain for him. Will could imagine himself feeling resentment for this woman, though he has yet to discover why beyond the fact that she clearly doesn't know how to respect crime scenes.

She was shocked that Will didn't remember her and Will wondered what she meant when she said she died for him. The interaction ended with him collecting her card and wondering if he should call her up just for information. But that was another situation that could be a slippery slope, the first being his quid pro quo situation with Dr. Lecter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter you get Dr. Hannibal Lecter's point of view. Now you get a choice on who the other point of view is going to be, but this would only be for the upcoming chapter. The rest after this would be only in Hannibal's or Will's point of view. Up until the end, it could very well be the character's point of view to close the story. 
> 
> Choice one: Alana Bloom  
> Choice two: Jack Crawford


	6. Chapter 6

During his last meal of the day, Hannibal paid mind to his conversation with Alana, and her concerns given Will and his presence being in Hannibal's life once again. Hannibal did not point out to her that if she was so concerned, she could have very well used her authority to deny the visitation. But she believed herself to be in control of Hannibal, and found herself so righteous in that and her ability to protect their shared friend. She allowed it to happen, however, she did make a grave mistake of not informing Will nor himself about the memory loss and the history they shared.

A mistake that will cost her one day, of this Hannibal was sure. It gave him more drive to fulfill his promise to her.

Her parting words were a big sign that she really did not fully understand Hannibal though she tried. And because she didn't, she made told Hannibal her mistake in her parting words:

_“I know what you're afraid of. It's not pain or solitude. It's indignity. You're like a cat that way. I'll take your books, I'll take your drawings, I'll take your toilet.” His former lover thought she was so right, that she had him figured out. It was almost enduring, almost. “You'll have nothing but indignity and the company of the dead.”_

Because she had no clue in how wrong she was at this, after all, the company of the dead has been his most constant companion throughout his life. So it would be nothing new to him now. Alana, however, did not need to know this so Hannibal allowed her the artificial comfort of thinking she had a hand to play. When she most certainly did not.

Only time will teach her how wrong she was.

As the day was finishing and it was lights out for the other patients within these walls, Hannibal would have time to relax and really take a moment to consider the other events that came to pass today. To really examine them without being interrupted by orderlies or by the few guests he was allowed. Most of which were there with the purpose of making a name for themselves or to annoy him in some spiteful way. Today at least, he had a guest that was worth his time.

Only, that guest came with the most unacceptable news as well. Something that concerned him more than what he would like to verbally acknowledge to anyone other than himself.

Will Graham did not remember him.

The same Will Graham that understood Hannibal so completely. The same who saw him in all his truth. And the very same man who betrayed Hannibal not once but twice, all the while making Hannibal feel the barest of genuine emotion that the man somehow evoked in him since the day they worked their first case together. The man who Hannibal left bleeding out on the floor with their adopted daughter who was also bleeding out and then later tried to cut into his head to take a part of Will to forever keep within himself. Forever...

That man, that impossible man who had an ability to surprise him in ways no one else has managed to do so effortlessly. That man did not remember him at all.

There was no faint echo of knowing him in those eyes that did not meet his directly. His Will was able to meet his eyes without any fear once upon a time. There was nothing there to indicate that there could be something there. It was most concerning.

And at the end of it, Hannibal was left within his spacious cage being the only one who can remember what they had together. Both the good and the bad. How far they came, and how far they could have gone. It was only with Hannibal now and that was strangely uncomfortable and Hannibal felt cheated. Which was something that did not sit well with him in the slightest. And yet, all he could do at the moment was sit at his bolted down generic desk idly fiddling with a dulling pencil that you could buy at any store.

It was a good thing that nothing in this cell matched what he had in his mind as he sat in the Norman Chapel of Palemo. A sketchpad in his hand with rich textured paper and a charcoal pencil sharpened to perfection that was at one time used to bring pictures to life on paper. The most common in his mind these days was of Will Graham. No longer drawn to match Greece's Gods or sculptures in stone. Lately, it was of moments when Will was unaware of Hannibal's attention. When the man stood at a window or smiled at his dogs. Or the rare smiles Hannibal was privileged to before the Encephalitis took hold.

Looking down, those smiling drawings seemed blurred and smudged. Not by his doing, that Will seemed so far from him now. Like the man's own memories. Would he have to build a room for his Will as well, like he did with Mischa?

Closing the sketchbook, Hannibal found himself suffering from the genuine sensation of being at a loss of what to do with Will not remembering him. Yes, he was aware of the deal he recently made with Will. But that was something that would be focused on later, when he cleared his mind of everything else for the moment. Right now he was for once swept up in too much emotion again. Only Will seemed to have that power it would seem. To gain such emotional reactions from him.

So instead, with the sketchbook set aside. Hannibal stared ahead to the twisted and broken body of one Anthony Dimmond who was made even more beautiful in the form of a heart for his Will to find. And Will did find his heart as Hannibal had hoped he would, a bit late but he still came and he still saw it.

And to that thought, Hannibal heard the sound of the heart beating steadily. And like the organ Anthony was shaped as it started to pump blood onto the floor beneath it. Spreading out to form a steadily growing puddle.

Watching the heart, Hannibal found that it felt like a lifetime ago and it felt like it was only yesterday and now. The heart beat faster to match Hannibal's rising emotions that were twisting and cutting to the surface but contained to Hannibal's mind palace as securely as possible. After all, it would not do for him to show just how rattled he actually is by the fact that Will Graham was so careless that he had allowed whatever to happen to him to steal what they had away!

The heart beat faster in front of Hannibal as he stood up stiffly, his breathing increased to match the anger rising in him from deep in his core. Hands tightly gripping the chairs in front of him.

All the while, he kept himself calm and expressionless within his cage. The dull store bought pencil still in his hands.

The good Alana, would not be privy to the sight of Hannibal standing and rolling his shoulders in his anger before turning towards the empty chairs he sat amongst only a moment ago. Breaking each and every single one of them across each other and the floor. Against the walls of his memory palace all the while not making a sound as he panted out his anger between bared teeth. Hair falling forward in his eyes.

She would not bare witness to a heart set on fire by the sheer anger Hannibal is feeling at this newest slight against him. The blood that pooled beneath the heart was equally as flammable as the heart itself. And should Hannibal find out who made his Will forget him, they would not have a safe place upon the Earth to hide from him. And Will would be forced to either bend for Hannibal or to remember no matter what fissure he would have to forcefully cut open.

Being forgotten was not something Hannibal was something that was not acceptable in the slightest. Especially when that someone has meant so much to Hannibal in ways only they were able to fully understand. No one else would ever understand what they had, what they will have and what was meant to be theirs.

Hannibal was not sure how long it took for him to calm down, to pull up a chair and pick up his sketchbook and start sketching Will Graham once again. The one who came to visit him. The one who will only grow and become something greater than he was now. And something that can very well become far better than the past and present. So long as he would gain back his memories after all, or bridge a connection with those memories in some way that would allow Will to become who he was and is.

And for that, there parting agreement of Quid Pro Quo would come into play.

It will come into play as well, in helping Will walk a path leading back to his memories and more importantly back to Hannibal. And this newest killer, The Toothfairy could become a useful tool for Hannibal to use as well. Though Hannibal would have to wait to see how to utilize him properly so that he could provide more aid to Hannibal in the long run.

Even as Hannibal felt some mild satisfaction regarding this newest development, Hannibal was surprised at the fact that he was still a victim of his own anger. Despite the fact that he knows there was room to work with what he had, that there was some usefulness to be had in this situation. But then, that was the power of Will. He always seemed to extract the most surprising of reactions from Hannibal. Like forgiveness when anyone else would have no chance for it. Adoration at such a fine specimen who was so close to becoming his perfect equal. Hatred for digging up emotions that were turned down so low, that he almost forgot he is capable of them. Pride for coming so far and enduring so much. And so much more that mere words could not name.

Feeling slightly satisfied with the events and possibilities, Hannibal decided that it would be best to get some rest before tomorrow came. Idly wondering if Will would come to see him tomorrow. He couldn't see why the man wouldn't come, he was curious enough to agree to a swap of information via Quod Pro Quo after all. Still, Hannibal waited three years after all. And one day was not enough.

Unfortunately, it was now that Hannibal noticed with the barest show of distaste at the sight of the pencil being broken in his hand. He was not fully aware of when it happened, but it was apparent that some of his emotions that played out in his mind palace bled out into reality.

At this point, there was nothing he could do about it beyond flat out ignoring it. And there was little use of hiding it when that could cost him in the long run by giving up a hint at the level of his own emotions regarding this situation.

So he set it down on his desk and left it. It will be cleaned out tomorrow when the daily morning sweep takes place.

_~ Line Break ~_

The following day after Will Graham coming back into her life, Alana made sure to leave the house a bit earlier than normal. Her wife, Margot was not entirely pleased with her at the moment given the situation in hand. Especially when she didn't know that Will didn't remember anything and was now put back into contact with his old job and with Hannibal Lecter. She even compared it to herself having to be put back with her brother after this length of time. And despite Mason being dead, it struck a cord with Alana and left her stomach turning. She would never put Margot in a situation like that, and yet she did the exact same thing with Will.

Someone who used to be her friend.

Before Hannibal Lecter corrupted both Will Graham and herself.

Alana admitted to Margot, that she has been foolish and she will try harder to keep this situation from escalating in ways that would be beyond her control. Checking her watch, she notes that this would be the time where the cell sweeps would be done for one floor of the hospital. The same floor as Hannibal Lecter. They hardly find anything beyond the usual in the former Doctor's cell. But it was best to be cautious and careful. Especially with Hannibal Lecter.

As she arrives, she greets the head orderlies for the night shift and listens to how things went. Quiet like normal, only a few patients causing a bit of a fuss and one dealing with horrible nightmares. Hannibal they noted was in bed sooner than normal. Odd as it was. By the time she was finished with them, she knows that the cell sweep reports would be finished and the head orderlies would be waiting in her office.

So she bid them a good day and headed that way, only stopping for a coffee from the doctor and orderly lounge.

And they were there right on time, it was something she enjoyed immensely to put it plainly. Only this morning there was a broken pencil on her desk. She recognized it instantly and found herself paying attention to that pencil more than the orderlies who spoke. Even after they left, that pencil held her attention.

Alana understood well enough that despite it only being a broken pencil, it could very well be something dangerous and it could very well be considered a sign of caution from here on out. Because a frightened part of her reminded her that it was the last thing she needs was for her most famous and infamous patient to become truly unhinged.

Pulling herself together and her attention away from the broken pencil she made a phone call to Jack Crawford. He would need to be reminded to be cautious when dealing with Will Graham coming close to Hannibal Lecter and the case. They both would have to play it safe when they can.

Only she knows deep down, they won't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long. This chapter gave me plenty of trouble as it was. Still, I'm satisfied with how it turned out finally. Next chapter we will be back to Will Graham's point of view.


	7. Chapter 7

Two days after his last visit to the Jacobi house, Will found himself back at Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Back in front of the cell of Doctor Hannibal Lecter, only this time he had new evidence and a layout of the house itself rather than just photographs of the murder scenes within the house. There was also more going on in Will's personal life, Jack who picked him up from the hotel that morning brought a box full of folders on past cases and people from when he first started field work again up until three years ago.

Will would look through those folders when he gets back tonight if he gets back tonight. It really depended on how the case goes today. There was also the matter of his deal with the former doctor hanging over Will's head. It has yet to feel like a noose. So that could very well be a good thing.

And the exchange of information has yet to take place. But Will knows it's coming.

But apparently, it was work with the case first. Which is something that suits Will just fine. Work is easy compared to trying to navigate waters where only one person knows the direction they're headed. Will just hoped that Dr. Lecter would not mislead him in any way regards to memories and the current matters at hand.

At this very moment, Will waited on Dr. Lecter who was studying a photograph found at the Jacobi house. Will gave him a moment before saying, “It was done carefully and cleanly, with a sharp knife. It was not the work of a child.” Though Will had no doubt that this man knew this at the first glance. Given the pencil work of his drawings, he knows a skilled hand when he sees one regardless if it's drawn or carved. This was just to get the ball rolling for this conversation.

“It's a Chinese character which means, 'You hit it', an expression sometimes used in gambling.” Dr. Lecter added, apparently not willing to go too far in quite yet. But it was still something to work with but it didn't feel right for the case. It was the wrong meaning. That much Will can see as clear as day. And he suspects, so could Dr. Lecter.

“A lucky sign.” Will added, going in the same direction and it clicks, “The character also appears on a mahjong piece. Marks the Red Dragon.” That was it, it was a missing piece. Will knows it and feels a flash of satisfaction at the gained piece of a puzzle. Pushing it aside, Will focused on the doctor in the cage. The man knows that Will caught on and for a moment it almost seemed like the man was proud.

“And behold a great red dragon...” Hannibal started and Will knows that this part was more productive then humoring conversation especially as he continued, “Are you familiar with William Black's 'The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed in Sun'? Blake's Dragon stands over a pleading woman caught in the coil of its tail. Few images in Western art radiate such a unique and nightmarish charge of demonic sexuality.” This was something Will can work with. A clear direction.

“The man who killed the Jacobis and the Leeds saw something in them that drew him and drove him to do it. He chose them because something spoke to him.” Will pointed out, sure of his words. Though not entirely sure what that was quite yet. But if he keeps going down this route, that answer could very well come clear to him as well. The next to come after that was the identity of this killer.

“The Jacobis were the first to help him, the first to lift him into the Glory of his Becoming. The Jacobis were better than anything he knew.” It was horrifying to listen to how Dr. Lecter worded it but it worked and Will didn't have much ground to stand on when he knows instinctively that he could word things just like him and sometimes gained weird reactions and looks. Even in day to day life, he gained stares and distrust with how he words things. He was careful to watch how he says things around Molly and her son. He didn't want to disturb either of them.

“Until the Leeds.” It will get worse Will was sure, after all with the Leeds that sensation grew. It will continue to do so.

“As the Dragon grows in strength and Glory, there are more families to come.” Dr. Lecter putting Will's realization in words that one couldn't refute so easily. It made sense as well. It was also concerning because that means another family is to fall victim to this Dragons becoming. Unless they find out who it was first. Something that is easier said than done.

“I have to believe there is a common factor and we'll find it soon.” Will stated he was sure of this, he had to be because the idea of more families being murdered was uncomfortable for Will. Especially when he knows he himself tried to build himself a family before his memory was stolen from him. Then Will would have to enter more houses, see more dead children, wives, and husbands. It wasn't something he relished or enjoyed the idea of, and the fact that Dr. Lecter only pointed this out made it more real. The part that Will didn't like, was that this killer enjoyed the killer Will was trying to catch.

“Now, tell me Will. Have you gained further evidence on your missing memories?” Dr. Lecter asked, digging and no doubt wanting further information. And Will knows he would have to keep his word in this agreement and speak to him about personal matters. A cost for assistance in trying to catch this killer Dr. Lecter seemed to like.

“I just got a box of casework and files regarding people that I know this morning from Jack.” Will answered honestly, not making eye contact instead focusing on the small cot in the corner followed by the books before focusing on Dr. Lecter's scared cheek. Not his eyes, but close enough for Will. Dr. Lecter nodded, accepting the answer before firing off another, “And the files of people, who is there?”

Will knows that he actually doesn't have to answer this one because he didn't gain any information between the last question and this one regarding the case. However, the productivity in this meeting made Will agreeable. At least for now.

“Mostly people I worked with during that time. There is a file there with your name on it. On top of the pile for people I knew was a file of a girl named Abigail Hobbs.” Will answered honestly, he didn't know why a girl's name would be there. Or who she was in regards to that time or Will's past. If she was important or was she a suspect or not? Will was going to have to read up on that for any clue. But his mention of her name gained an instant reaction from Dr. Lecter.

Will felt chilled and trapped under the man's gaze that only seemed to intensify in it's searching.

“Do you know who she was to you Will?” Dr. Lecter asked Will could almost sense that there was a missing piece to that question. The ending, it was stopped too soon. And Will's curiosity was peaked at the fact that this girl seemed to be much more than just a girl who Will somehow knew. Did Dr. Lecter know her as well? How would he know her?

“No, if you excuse me I have work to do.” Will answered and excused himself. Sensing that perhaps the conversation was starting to get too personal far too quickly for his liking and idly he could picture a not being tied in a noose and Will wondered who held the other end of that noose? If there even was one.

Will didn't stop to speak with Dr. Bloom or anyone as he exited the building and called a cab. He probably could drive, if he had a car and a map to figure out where he was going. But given that he doesn't, he has to rely on cabs and hopes that he has enough cash to get him to the place he needs. Rewinding his conversation with Dr. Lecter regarding the case, Will remembers the mention of William Blake. There was a place that had the painting that was mentioned.

It wouldn't hurt to go check it out. Though he wasn't entirely sure how long it would take to get there.

_~ Next Section ~_

Needlessly said, it took a bit longer to get there than Will had thought or hoped that it would. It gave him time to phone Jack as well as phone ahead. At least they would be ready for him when he gets there. And he was right as he was met by the tour guide who met Will with idle conversation and a smile. Asked about how Will was and the weather. Though any enthusiasm died away as Will made sure the man knew that he was here on business.

So business it was.

“This way, Mr. Graham. You know, you're the second person who's asked to see the Blake today.” One last ditch from his tour guide to have some sort of conversation. Only it didn't work as Will was left with a growing sense of anxiety, because who else would ask for the painting specifically? Not a student body? A fan of William Blake? Or his killer he was trying to catch? He only half listened as the tour guide called out for his co-worker. It wasn't a fan. It wasn't a student.

And with that time slows as Will turns his attention to the only viable place he could think of. The elevator. And it was there that he caught sight of a man considerably larger then Will, but that wasn't what caught his attention. It was how the man stood and moved and seemed like for a moment like a deer caught in headlights or more correctly a predatory animal who was caught before slipping away. Will didn't give either of them time to think, instead, he left the tour guide to take care of his co-worker as Will pushed forward.

Instinct he doesn't remember learning but knows how to use had him head forward. Stopping the elevator doors from closing but failing miserably to give himself time to adapt to the new situation he just caused. Instead, it was the man in the elevator who did as he lunged forward taking hold of Will like he weighed nothing and showing just how strong he was by slamming Will against the back wall of the elevator and throwing him back out.

It won't give him time to catch up as the elevator doors slid shut separating Will from his potential killer. It was a struggle getting to his feet to attempt to make it to the front before the man exits the elevator. Attempting to push the throbbing of his head and back out of the way. It didn't work in both cases, and the sound of alarms being run screamed in his ears as he tried to get his barrings to think of what to do next. Where to go next.

What does he do!

Covering his ears he focused on people running about, the elevator's closed but empty. He was too late. Will closed his eyes, trying to think. He wasn't here to behave like an agent. Yet he did. Somehow he did. He knows it.

The alarm seemed to get louder. People rushed and tried to figure out what was going on. Curiosity and panic. People excited too easily and it was only something that Will was finding stressful.

His head hurt! It was supposed to be the back of his head because that came in contact with the elevator wall, yet it seemed to stretch and crawl forward across his forehead and over his skull like it was alive.

He did the only thing he could do as he waited for something. He called Molly.

In the early days of his memory loss, she managed to calm him down with stories or just telling him how things were going. The weather. Something. The dogs. School for Wally. Walter? Her voice slide out of the phone like cool water. She was calm. She told him to go outside.

So he did, it was quieter outside and Will could focus on her telling him about the lake better. Will didn't realize he still had a hand on one ear as he gripped the phone to the other. Will didn't speak, he didn't need to. All he did was listen to her.

“Will?” Was that Jack's voice? It took Will a second to realize it was and idly listen to Molly say that she could hear him as well. She asked for Will to give Jack the phone, so Will did without a word. He didn't know what they were saying but it ended with Jack hanging up and Will wanting to idly protest at that but never gaining a chance as Jack took that time to have Will focus on him.

“Will, you gotta listen to me. I'm bedrock at the moment, so use me to get your barrings. Okay. Focus.” Jack said and Will did. Playing those words over again in his mind a few times. He had to. So Will reminded himself to do that. Focus. Jack said he was bedrock. Bedrock was a solid foundation. Words that seemed familiar and false and Will didn't know what to do with that. So he pushed it aside and focused on Jack. Just Jack and not the alarm that seemed to go silent or curious stares and whispers from everywhere.

“Jack...” Will said, letting the man know that Will sees him and is focusing on him.

“What the hell happened?” Jack demanded and even that was too loud. Will focused away from him and explained as best that he could without rambling too much. Or at least he hoped he didn't. He idly heard Jack asking if having Will on the case was too much?

“No...”

“Then shake it off, you can do it. We got to before he kills another family.” Jack said before pulling away and going to the head security person on hand first. Will reminds himself of that. They had eleven days. There were families at risk. He had to pull himself together!

He had to focus.


	8. Chapter 8

Once Will felt cleaned up and put together enough he made his way to Jack's office because there was work to be done and he knows a little more now than he did at the start of the day. Will knows though that later he would get an earful from Molly because she worries a lot about him. She loves him in some ways, something that Will finds not hard to do in return. Only, he doesn't know what sort of love he has for her. He just knows it's sincere.

With a breath, he entered Jack's office noting that Dr. Bloom was already there as well. Will didn't know what she had to do with this case though, but Will didn't question it because he knows that they're speaking with one of her patients and Will knows her. Or at least, he knew her.

Not giving anyone a chance to speak, Will stated what he knows to be fact, “He ate a painting.”

“Ate it?” Will heard it in Jack's voice though. Anger among other things. Will steeled himself for what he was sure was coming, making sure to close the door behind himself so that whatever was going to happen was going to stay contained in this room for the moment.

“Ate it up. The Art Squad in New York snapped to it when they found out what he ate. It's rarely displayed. Two hundred year old watercolour. Light fades it.” Will confirmed, a twitch in Jacks face gave Will the impression that the agent does not like dealing with situations where it was close calls in almost catching the suspect. Will wondered if Jack blames him a bit, but not wanting to muse on what-if's he forced himself to focus on the here and now.

“They got two partial prints off the plastic pass he used. No ID, but it's the same thumb that was on Mrs. Leed's eye.” Jack said and Will focused on that for a moment before turning his attention to Dr. Bloom's enquiry. At least she seems concerned about the people trapped in the situation.

“He had a sweet touch with her. She had to have four stitches. Mild concussion, but he didn't kill her.” Will informed her, but his answer only gave them more questions. The most obvious being her next spoken question about why no one was killed considering how easy it would have been. And Will knows it would have been very easy.

“He would have been better off to kill her. And you. Could have saved himself a description or two.” Jack pointed out and Will couldn't argue with that. The decision to not kill anyone is a risky and near reckless decision because now his identity is nearly known and there is less of a mystery of who he is. Will stood back and listened to the conversation between Jack and Dr. Bloom, it was an interesting notion that this killer could be trying to stop.

Will turned his attention back fully when suicide was brought up. It tasted sour to him.

“Suicide suites me just fine.” Jack sounded serious, only Will knows that suicide isn't an option for this killer. This wasn't suicide.

“If he's really trying to stop himself, he's not going to kill himself.” They were skeptical, but Will had their attention, “How could he be sure his death would affect whatever's inside him?” It sounded insane, but it fit perfectly. And he knows that both Jack and Dr. Bloom were considering his words.

“You can tell something about him or you wouldn't have found him.” It was a statement and Will found himself feeling a bit used and a bit angry. Pushing it aside, it could be nothing or it could be something. Either way, a new piece fit itself to Jack Crawford at this very moment.

“Jack Crawford, fisher of men, watching my cork move against the current.” Will said, voice strained as a new feeling crept into place. The one of deja vu. He was in this position before and with the same person as well. So he added, “You got me again.” It seemed that got a reaction, not that it mattered. Ignoring them, he threw out a long shot but fitting possibility. Especially after thinking over his conversations in regards to this killer, the Tooth Fairy turned Dragon.

“Dr. Lecter told me where to find him.” Will pointed out, William Blake being a key point in the conversation and his work. And Will is sure of this long shot idea. So he confirmed to them that Dr. Lecter knows who this killer is. But Will wanted to know what the game was, what Dr. Lecter had to do with this man and what the endgame was. Though asking wouldn't help anything because there was no way Dr. Lecter would tell Will. And if he wanted a hint, it would cost Will something first.

It was clear that nothing will be done at the moment, it was late and Dr. Bloom had a family to return to. And Will, he needs rest because today was a busy one and since his run in with the dragon there was a ringing in his ears that he couldn't quite shake all that well. There was also the matter of the fact that Will had information that he could get into about himself. And now that he was done with today, that curiosity of what was in the box came back ten fold.

So he called a cab and got in, Will didn't pay much mind to what he was saying or doing. He was paying more attention to today and his conversations today. It was only when the cab driver told him they were at his destination did he pay more attention, shocked to find himself at Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane rather then his hotel.

“W-why am I here?” Will asked and found the building bigger than it is during the day and more threatening. Like it wanted him to enter and then trap himself inside and not let him go again. The again sensation was something that kept coming up over and over again with this place ever since Will came back to this world, whatever this world is in the long run.

“You asked me to bring you here.” The cab driver answered, then stated his price and corrected him on where to take him. The cab driver seemed annoyed and Will found himself being petty for that with snippy responses and silence. Why did he have himself brought there?

Or could it be a who that had him head there first?

Pushing that aside, Will exited the cab after paying and entered his hotel room. Instead of going to bed, he sat on his bed with the box of files and past cases that up to now was blacked out and out of his reach. Fear gripped him at first, it had him not doing anything and just staring at the box. It wasn't until he got his nerve together and opened the first file and reading.

_~ Line Break ~_

Exhaustion was old and it was new. But that wasn't the important part, Will stayed up all night reading and looking over folders and files. All of it made sense in a clinical sort of way, he knows the cases and how they were. But Will didn't know the emotional aspects of the cases and how they made him feel and what affect they had on him. But at the same time it made him feel something he couldn't put a name to or explain. The files about people made even less sense to him.

They were files about people, but not who they were to Will. There was some things that felt familiar though, like Beverly's smile for one thing. That smile could have been directed at Will at one time. It was a smile Will would have liked to see, or at least relearn what about it was like to have someone smile like that towards him. It wasn't a smile like Molly's. She loved him, this Beverly more than likely didn't. Could that mean that she could have still been his friend, was that the smile Will could have gotten from her? Will made note to ask either Jimmy Price or Brian Zeller, one of them would know more because they worked with her.

The file about Abigail Hobbs didn't make much sense to him though, Will couldn't understand who this girl was to him. But she seemed familiar the more he read the more he wanted to know how. The smile she had in the picture was foreign, she never smiled at him. Not really. Will could imagine that she may have, but it wouldn't be like the carefree one in the picture. Will knows he killed her father, and he knows from what he read that she was murdered in front of him.

Murdered by one Doctor Hannibal Lecter.

But why?

The file about Dr. Lecter confused him more, it felt more familiar than the others but it was written so coldly. Like whoever put this file together done so to put distance between anyone who read it and the man it was about. There wasn't much about Will's relationship with the man beyond the cold details. Will now knows that this man was his psychiatrist and he was also the man who framed him and nearly killed him.

Will should hate him? Shouldn't he? Everything in the file that could be found spoke of an one-sided and abusive relationship and Will wondered who wrote these files.

If felt more complicated though, like there was more to it but it was on the tip of Will's tongue and he couldn't make sense of it. There really was only one person who Will could talk about this and perhaps talk to in regard to the girl as well. But there was a case that needed to be worked on. And a phone call to Molly to make.

In the end though, Will had a shower and once again found him in the back of a cab and in front of Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane instead of heading to work. This time Will paid the cab driver and got out. Will made a choice that he didn't want to be bothered yet by anyone so he turned his phone off. It didn't take him long to get past everyone with partial lies and using his temporary FBI issued badge. It's expiry as at the end of this month.

Dr. Bloom has yet to arrive, and Will was glad for that. He didn't want to talk to her. Will wanted to speak to the one who left scars on his body and knows Will in a way that it feels like others don't. And perhaps he could very well be making a mistake by coming here. Especially when tired and filled with too much information that wasn't clicking as they should. Faces of people he knew and should know still but doesn't.

Entering the room with Dr. Lecter's cell, Will noted that the man was tired and mildly confused and surprised to see Will. He also looked like he just got up. But Will knows that should be expected because it was only five in the morning after all.

“Good morning Dr. Lecter.” Will greeted and watched as that mild confusion and surprise fade away to curiosity and amusement. It was funny how it was getting easier to read the man in front of him with each interaction. It only confirmed that Will knew this man, even without the information that he read last night.

“Good morning Will, what brings you here so early?” Dr. Lecter greeted in return, checking the clock on the wall just outside of his cell. Once that question was asked, Will found that it has became increasingly difficult to answer even though he knows the answer and up until now it was easy to consider. But succumbing to that difficulty won't help him here and Will needs to know. But he needed to get himself talking first.

He started with the case, it was an easy place to start. Will didn't reveal that they suspect that Dr. Lecter knows who the killer is. Will just spoke of what happened yesterday. It was almost amusing at the fact that Dr. Lecter seemed to find it distasteful that a two hundred year old watercolour piece of art was so crassly destroyed.

It was six by the time Will found himself brave enough to talk about what really brought him here. And it was surprising on how good of a listener Dr. Lecter was as Will sat against the wall closes to the glass. Dr. Lecter crouched down to eye level on the other side. Will just spoke and Dr. Lecter just listened. It wasn't until Will was finished that Dr. Lecter seemed to consider talking.

Most questions were in regards to Will's ability to function from day to day and how working this case has disrupted that. Will didn't want to think of how disruptive this case was, but it did make some things a bit more difficult for him. Mostly because of how foreign and familiar it was, it left Will feeling disoriented when he wasn't busy. The questions moved on to what Will thought of the cases he read last night and the files about the people who was in his life.

To Will, it seemed like Dr. Lecter was a bit disappointed in the fact that Will couldn't remember the people in his past more so then the cases. Thankfully it didn't stop him from answering questions here and there or listening when Will spoke. Once again Will was struck at how easy it was to talk to him. But Hannibal wasn't entirely forthcoming with his information in regards to the two of them and the history there. Especially on the emotional level.

But from what he gathered with this conversation, and from what he's read. That time of his life was obviously complicated and turbulent.

He should get going soon though, he was tired and he needed to get some sort of sleep before going to work. If there was time for that now. That and he had to think over what was said and clearly what wasn't said. Which was more then what was said, still it was good to bounce his thoughts off of someone. Even if that someone was dubbed criminally insane by the media and legally. After all, he was here rather then on death row by the sounds of it.

And it was a lie. Will knows this, somehow he knows it. The man behind the glass was a lot of things but he wasn't insane.

“I- I have to go. Good bye Dr. Lecter and thank you for the conversation.” Will said as he got up, feeling slightly unbalanced from being both tired and having his mind wrung out in his own attempts at trying to make sense of everything he read only to be leaving with more questions than answers. Dr. Lecter stood up with him and looked expectantly at him before replying with the same pleasantries.

Will touched the doorknob and out of the blue he decided to ask a question he didn't ask because up to this point he treated her like a piece of one of the cases and was allowed to do so, though it seemed reluctant on Dr. Lecter's end.

“Who was Abigail Hobbs?” It was a loaded question and Will couldn't understand fully how that was. A tilt in Dr. Lecter's head was the only indication that Will was being studied for a moment before a two worded answer chased Will out of the building.

“Yours. Mine.”

_“Family values may have declined over the last century, but we still help our families when we can.”_

Those cutting words were back in his mind as Will stood in the sun as far from the building he could while still being on the property, in the back of his mind he knows that he should call a cab and get something to eat. He had work to do. Perhaps grab some coffee as well.

_“You're family, Will.”_

Will ended up standing there until he felt a light touch to his shoulder and turned and only saw the afterimage of a girl with a bloodied neck and face. Her physical description matched the photo he had in a folder under the name of Abigail Hobbs.

If that girl, that lost little girl was his and Han- Dr. Lecter's than why did he kill her? Why was she dead? There was a cutting pain in his stomach, sharp enough for Will to feel it but not enough for him to crumble to the ground. The only thing that drew his attention was the sound of his name being called by one Doctor Bloom who looked like she has yet to go into the building.


	9. Chapter 9

It was easy for Will to say that there was honest concern in Dr. Bloom as she took him out to breakfast at a small diner close by. The coffee wasn't all that great, but Will didn't care entirely too much as he moved onto his third cup. She didn't ask him the question of why he was there, and Will knows enough to figure that it's the top question on her list. At the moment however, only small talk filled the silence. And Will wasn't entirely satisfied with small talk, he never has been. Even with Molly, half the time it was her doing the talking anyway. Here he had no choice but to answer due to the idle conversation's direction.

“You could just ask me, you know.” Will finally cut her off, he knows she wants to anyway.

“Very well, why were you there?” Dr. Bloom agreed while posing that question Will already saw coming anyway. And it was a good question, even though Will knew it was coming it was harder to answer than he could have ever thought possible. Will let out a slight bitter sound before giving an equally bitter smile that stretched too wide and was far too fake to fit on anyone's face.

“That is the question, isn't it. But I needed answers, not about the Tooth Fairy case. But about the files I got from Jack. A lot of it doesn't make sense and he was clearly in my past for a decent length of time, I figured who better than go to the source for some things.” Will answered, the problem with what he did was he walked away with more questions and uncertainties than he had when he entered the building in the first place. And a ghost seemed to have followed him from that room, always out of his line of sight but always with blood covering her pale skin. There was also the unmistakable sound of hooves following him and in moments of silence a bellowing call from an animal he never recalled seeing before and could never locate.

She seemed to give him a hard look.

“Dr. Lecter is very dangerous Will, and manipulative. Don't trust him and certainly make sure you'll be extra careful when dealing with him. Even if it's only conversations.” Dr. Bloom said, Will was honestly surprised that she didn't tell him to stop or reprimand him for going to Dr. Lecter in the first place. Especially considering her involvement in Will not knowing who Dr. Lecter was or his own history until recently. It was to some degree a relief. Though everything she said was in the file about Dr. Lecter, only with her words there seemed to be experience behind them.

“I will, I will. Don't worry about me.” Will reassured, feeling a need to reassure her in this and for a moment sitting with Dr. Bloom felt familiar and near normal. Though Will still couldn't place how it was that he did, despite what the files said Will always felt the need for more and always approached each word with some wariness because words could be faked. And being back on a case, it had Will being slightly more distrustful than he usually was while at Molly's.

Which reminded him, he had to call her. Will wasn't entirely sure when he called her last. She won't be happy with how little sleep Will got lately and how little he seemed to eat. Will could hear it now.

A wary sigh before a nod, Dr. Bloom didn't seem all that reassured but kept silent about it. Their conversation moved to safer area's. It went from Molly to Dr. Bloom's wife Margot Verger. It was close to nine before they decided to leave, it was Dr. Bloom who dropped him off at work. Will tried to give her money for breakfast and for gas, but she declined both times.

Will must have looked as tired as he felt, Jack made him go take a nap in Jack's office for a few hours. Something that he appreciated enough to not fight.

By the time he was up and ready to work again, it was well into the afternoon and Will was grateful that no one said a word or questioned him about his early morning visit to Dr. Lecter. If they knew at all, Will figured they might. Why would Dr. Bloom keep that silent. Jack didn't give him a moment to get ready for work, just handed him a coffee and they were soon discussing the case.

“Despair's going around like the flue. Families are frightened.” Jack pointed out, not that it was needed. Because Will was well aware of this but said nothing as Jack continued, “If Lecter can deliver, he'd better do it in your next conversation. Which by the way, next time you take it upon yourself to go alone without anyone knowing, don't.”

Will found himself angry for a moment, not entirely liking the fact that Jack took it upon himself to just tell him what he could and could not do. At least with Dr. Bloom she came across as understanding and didn't take the same approach.

“He's not going to deliver. And I don't see the problem, nothing was said about the case. I didn't talk about anything but those files.” Will said, his own frustration must have been heard in his voice but ignored. And from the look he was getting as the case files were now pointedly ignored by Jack in favour of all attention being drawn to Will, the conversation now being covered isn't about the case but Will's own personal choices.

“Hannibal is dangerous, even with just words. He's dangerous Will and I don't want you to go there without supervision. Especially if it doesn't have to do with the ca-” Jack's voice was that of someone who expected to get his way and there was experience in those words as well that Will would be foolish to ignore.

“It has to do with my life Jack, Dr. Lecter knows some things that I need to know.” Will didn't let Jack's experience or words stop him, because Will was right here. This was his life and did he not have a right to choose who he speaks with regarding that life? Even if that person happened to be a cannibalistic serial killer who just happened to have a lot of history with Will. Will had a right to know.

“Giving you those files was a mistake. Just don't talk to him about your life anymore Will. Just don't.” Jack sounded tired, but angry enough that there was not an ounce of defeat or any sign that he would back down about this matter. It was a typical Jack move there, and Will knows this even without his memories. Jack rubbed his face looking back at the case files laid out in front of them, possibly hoping to get back to the case rather than the matter of Will talking to Dr. Lecter.

“I have to, it's payment for information or help regarding this case.” Will made sure his own voice was calm, he knows it was a calm before a storm. Especially when Jack's attention snapped back to Will so quickly Will almost thought he was going to have a case of whiplash.

“What the fuck do you mean, payment?!” Jack's voice practically echoed in the room and Will could almost remember or at least picture instances like this before. Where he was yelled at and Will fought the urge to back off and pacify the larger man. Will fought to keep his voice steady as he explained the agreement. Everyone else who happened to be near, kept their heads low and no doubt tried to disappear.

In the end, Jack clearly found himself angry enough to send Will back to his hotel. Too angry to deal with Will at the moment, though Will heard mutterings about blocking all rights for Will to speak with Dr. Lecter without someone present from here on out.

Will left the building angry and slightly put out.

And as odd as it was, part of him felt a need to go back to Dr. Lecter and this time talk about the case. After all, Dr. Lecter knows who this killer was. Somehow this killer contacted Dr. Lecter and Will sent a text to Jack letting him know that, it was a sneaking suspicion but Will knows that Jack would follow through with that thought. It was better that way, and Will had to refuse his own instinct to talk or confront the caged doctor.

Instead, he gave another address instead of his own hotel.

A residential house and the cab driver knew instantly and started to talk about how 'Hannibal the Cannibal' used to live there. Will ignored most of it until the known deaths that have taken place into it. And the near deaths of a fateful night.

“It was raining...” Will stated, not sure how he knew but he knew. It was raining and the world was falling apart so quickly Will remembered a drowning and sinking feeling.

“Yes, how- Who are you?” The cab driver asked, Will didn't answer him as he paid and told him to not wait around. Instead he just stood at the edge of the walkway leading to the front door. It was a long shot, but perhaps he could approach parts of his past as he would approach a case. Close his eyes, count to three and instead of playing the part of a killer. He'll play his own part and see if that could lead him to something.

Why didn't he try to do this before?!

Closing his eyes and listening to the swoops of a pendulum swinging before his minds eye. Those swoops died away to the sound of rain as Will opened his eyes and it was night. And it was raining, despite not having a the case file of events this night, Will can remember what he read all the same.

Taking a step forward, and another and another. He came upon the spot where Dr. Bloom's crumbled body landed, broken and surrounded by glass. Unfortunately the door was locked, something that didn't fit the case file. The door was originally unlocked. It left Will picking the lock and listening to rain that was falling a long time ago. It didn't take him long to unlock the door and to get inside. Locking it behind him because he didn't want to be interrupted at the moment.

His phone once again on silent. Molly's call unanswered.

It smelled dusty, but to Will at the moment it smelled fresh. A faint smell of spices and the unmistakable scent of blood. The kitchen. Will made his way through the house, in a direction that felt familiar to him. He walked this path before. Did he have a gun out? No, because he was questioned on why he didn't pull the trigger. Or at least, according to the file he was.

Will stood at the start of the dining room. Will felt like he was going to suffocate, why did he start here? Not that it mattered. Instead he closed his eyes and let time rewind.

_Will Graham moves towards the kitchen, body tense and hyper-aware at this moment. As he came across the kitchen, there is blood and destruction everywhere. Blood smears and chaos. The highest source of blood came from underneath the pantry door. Instinct drove him forward to it, but to do what was unknown. It is at this point that he was no longer alone... Who was there with him?_

The file said Abigail Hobbs. Why was she there? How was she there? She was supposed to be dead, was she not?

_Abigail Hobbs is facing towards Will Graham at this point, it wasn't hard to imagine the distress the young girl was in at this point. Face covered in tear stains? Will Graham at this point could not believe what he was seeing, something about it not clicking._

She was supposed to be dead! But she wasn't. Why wasn't she dead?

_She speaks, her body shakes and she was clearly agitated. The amount of stress is taking it's tole on her, she was not built for this situation and it clearly showed here and now. Will Graham struggles to process her as he found himself staring at her._

Something had him unable to understand what was going on. But yet...

_“Abigail...” Will Graham's voice was questioning. Not sure she was there and positive at the sight of her. This wasn't a hallucination. She was alive and in front of him. Dread set in._

_“I didn't know what else to do. So I did what he told me to do.”_

“Oh... God.” Will knows those words weren't in the case he was trying to put together. Those words were his own and hers. She sounded so afraid. The doctor he had said this could happen, that he could start to regain memories to some degree. After all, the doctor wasn't even sure why Will lost them in the first place, his trauma wasn't great enough for that. But that was unimportant, what is and what was is the fact that he got something back. Something that was his.

Only, instead of glee at remembering something all he felt was dread. But he had to keep going, had to keep trying. The faint voice in the back of his mind reminding him of his current ongoing case was pushed aside and forgotten for the moment.

_Will Graham watched as Abigail Hobbs face fell, it in itself gave information that was required. Another presence in the kitchen. Something that was confirmed as one Doctor Hannibal Lecter stood looming behind Will Graham._

There's pieces missing, words said that wasn't recalled. But Will knows, he knows at this point he was embraced and felt those arms around him despite the fact that the only person here was himself. His own dread seemed to increase because he knows, somehow he knows that this wasn't how things were supposed to be. That the man embracing him, wasn't supposed to be there when everything went down.

_“We couldn't leave without you.”_

That was Dr. Lecter's voice, that he knows for a fact considering he spoke with Dr. Lecter more then once at this point. But those words only seemed to invite an onslaught of what Will wanted up to this point and now found himself not wanting anymore. Because he wasn't prepared and his doctor did not prepare him for this. Going so far as suggesting when trying to put his past together, to do it gently. What this was, in this kitchen wasn't gentle and Will found himself in pain.

It wasn't right. How he was remembering, what he was getting back in fragments.

But here he was, his stomach in pain right along the scar and he knew that this was the place he was cut open. He didn't need the case file to know that.

_Understanding set in at this point, why everyone was still around on a level that was not found in the case file of the night where the Chesapeake Ripper was discovered and the night the Chesapeake Ripper fled the country leaving destruction behind._

_Screams echoed in the air, Abigail and a gun that was drawn and not used fell to the floor. Will gripped his stomach, vain attempts to hold the blood in. Horror was seen on and in Abigail as Will staggered back and fell to the floor._

Crouching down, Will knows this spot and the urge to vomit was pushed down as he gripped a dry stomach as Will remembers bleeding out.

_The gun was out of reach. Will Graham on the ground, Abigail Hobbs to his left and in front of him the Chesapeake Ripper stood looming and tall. Blood stained clothing that were unattainable for evidence. But recorded in the records by the reports put together by all three survivors. Which were Doctor Alana Bloom, Agent Jack Crawford and former special agent Will Graham._

_Will swore that he was going to spill more than blood from the wide cut across his abdomen, not that it mattered at the moment because before him stood Hannibal Lecter. Judging and angry. Worse, heartbroken. Something that was not expected._

Why it wasn't expected, Will wasn't entirely sure but he almost could see it in those eyes as they stared down at him. Words echoed in his mind.

_“Time has reversed. The teacup I've shattered has come together. A place was made once more in the world for Abigail. A place was made for all of us. Together.”_

_Will tried to remain conscious as he listened, forced himself to not go into shock because that very well could be a death sentence in itself. But then, wasn't that what was going to happen anyway?_

_“I wanted to surprise you. And you... wanted to surprise me.”_

Will didn't know what to do with what his mind was playing, all he knew was his stomach was in pain and he felt like he was shattering because of something coming that was still lost to him. Was it not enough that he was being murdered and judged by his murderer? A foolish thought, Will was still alive and survived. He wasn't murdered?

Will took deep breaths, unaware that tears were starting to fall from his eyes or that his phone was vibrating in his pocket.

“He wanted to be seen...” Will found himself uttering, but unsure why. Nothing else existed in this house but this kitchen and Will knows there's other things he should be remembering about this night and this house but he couldn't. All he knew was he looked forward and looked back and listened to words spoken in his past. One that still remained largely unknown to him.

_“By you. A rare gift I've given you. But you didn't want it.”_

Heartbroken words from a heartbroken man, but words that didn't seem like they fit Will as much as Dr. Lecter seemed to have thought at the moment all of this, whatever it was, gone down.

_“Do you believe you could change me the way that I've changed you?”_

Will found himself fighting to take in air, his stomach was bleeding and Will was fighting to keep hold of this memory and what was happening. All the while, wanting to flee. He knows something bad, worse was coming. Both from the case file and from the increasing feeling of dread.

_“Fate and circumstances has returned us to the moment the teacup shatters. I forgive you, Will.” Hannibal's voice was sure and steady and Will had to watch as he moved to stand behind Abigail before he continued, “Will you forgive me?” The sadness now seen and it was more real than it had any right to be._

“Don't...” Will didn't know why he said that, what he was dealing with right now were ghosts and a past he now wished he didn't remember as he found himself yelling out, “No!” It didn't occur to him that the neighbours could very well hear him.

All that mattered at the moment was Will lurched forward to attempt to try to stem the bleeding of a girl no longer bleeding out on the floor with him. The floor was clean and Will was alone all the while his phone rang with bad news regarding Molly and Walter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may be a bit jarring in regards to Will and his first memory. But the centered writing is the memory, the “Align Right” is pretty much Will going through a case routine in a minor way. I'm aware that I'm not correct in dealing with amnesia and recall/remembering, but please bare with me and let it be for this story.


	10. Chapter 10

Hours had passed, hours sitting cramped on a floor clean and untouched in this moment. There was no blood. There was no dying girl, Abigail. There was no heartbroken killer casting judgment over Will for the heartbreak that Will had caused somehow. There was only Will here by himself and the odd sensation of ghosts moving just outside of his sight. Words echoed in his mind, words that played in his mind once before when he was first joining the tooth fairy case.

_“You can make it all go away. Put your head back. Close your eyes. Wade into the quiet of the stream.”_

It was only once he could drag himself away from the kitchen to the bathroom. There was no running water, but that didn't stop Will from relieving himself. It didn't really seem to strike Will of how that could be considered wrong to most, all he knew was right now he was heartbroken himself and torn. He didn't know what to make of that memory and he really needed to consider getting something to eat. Perhaps calling Molly, a friendly voice would be more than welcomed at this point.

Someone who wasn't attached to this situation or the present one.

Unfortunately, it was now that he got the message from Jack and only halfheartedly noting the time, he didn't realize he spent all day and part of the night trapped in that kitchen and in that memory. His memory. His regained memory! It wasn't much, but it was a start. Unfortunately, at this point, there were more important matters at hand than his memories.

Like getting to the hospital and ignoring his own hunger, something that felt familiar from a long time ago. Either way, it took him little time to catch a cab and find himself racing through the hallway under the glare of hospital fluorescent lights that seemed to do nothing but leave Will agitated and cornered. He never liked hospital's and was always afraid that they would see something wrong with him and lock him in a ward or something. Passing the hospital's security and FBI agents was easier than he would have thought. But then, they more than likely know who he was.

Before him now is the waiting room. Jack was with Walter and Will found himself hesitating to enter. He was never good at some things regarding Walter, especially when the boy was upset or stressed. Will just didn't feel equipped to dealing with it like Molly is. Will only entered after he managed to drag up enough nerve and pushed his own fatigue down enough to hide it away. Jack was the first to look up, Will noted the conflicted emotions in the man's face. Making him look older than he was, there was something else there. Questions. But those seemed to have been set aside as he got up and approached Will.

“She's in surgery now.” Will doesn't know why he told Jack, he probably knows already. He always seems to know things, much to Will's annoyance. It was enough of a cue for Jack to leave. Will found his movements jerky in a way as he sat down next to Walter. Any words spoken between them at this point was shaky and to the point. Walter was always a blunt boy, but at the moment there was something else.

“This crazy guy wants to kill you?” It was a question and a statement. Walter was so sure of this, and Will couldn't tell if that scared him or not. Will didn't know, if that was the purpose of this. He was going to have to see what was happening today with Jack and the investigation, as well with Dr. Lecter beyond his morning conversation with him.

Killing this guy seemed to be Walter's focus, or at least his focus in regard to what Will was going to do. Why would it? Why would Walter even ask something like that? So Will made a point to try to flush how that reasoning came across. Walter seemed to hesitate at this point. It took some coaxing before he focused on Will.

“Tommy's mom had a little newspaper. Said you killed a guy and you were in a mental hospital. I never knew that. Is it true.” Walter asked, sometimes Will had to remember that he didn't really understand how Will couldn't remember anything before his accident. Will rubbed his face. He then found himself questioning Walter on what the newspaper was called. Tattletale something. It was enough to make him remember the business card he got from the redhead. And a resentment curled in his stomach, one that felt far too familiar to be new.

“Walter. You remember the accident I had? Two and a half years ago?” Will asked once the boy confirmed that he remembered did Will continue, “I don't remember that time of my life. But yes, from what I've read I have killed someone and yes I was in a- a mental hospital. This bothers you.” Will watched as the boy looked away, trying to absorb what he found out and no doubt trying to figure out what to do from here on out. It would seem that they both were in situations that they didn't know how to handle.

“I told my Dad I'd take care of her.” Walter pointed out, and Will wanted to recoil here. It wasn't Walter's fault in the least. It was Will's, he wasn't doing a good job. But he hardly remembered why he married her. Why he was still here beyond being selfish for the friendship and kindness Molly offered up so freely. Will stated that he'll take care of her as well, after all, he married her for some reason or another. Unfortunately, it only caused Walter to state what should happen before heading to watch baseball.

Will had nothing to do at this point, there was no reason for him to stay in the waiting room.

So he joined Jack. It started with an idle conversation with Jack regarding baseball. It didn't last that long, as Jack wanted to know where he was all day. Will didn't tell him, instead moved the conversation from himself to work and to this situation. Jack let it go easily enough, confirming that the man seemed to be slightly scared of losing his help in this case. Why? Could he not do it himself? Will knows this entire situation feels like it happened before. Will would have to ask a few questions and reread a few files to confirm this later.

But right now, he focused on Jack's offer, “As soon as Molly can be moved, we'll put her and Walter at my brother's house on the Chesapeake. Nobody in the world will know where they are but you and me.”

But, memories or not. He knows Molly well enough to know how she would react to that and this situation.

“Molly's not going to want anything from you, Jack. She'd be glad to see you in hell with your back broken.” Will stated and his words were quiet. He knows it's the truth because not only did a killer break into her house but that same killer threatened and would have killed her son. This killer was also a part of the case that Will was working on, that Jack exposed them all too. Only, Will doesn't know how she would react to Will. She supported Will in coming to help, she was on the phone with him off and on to help him.

Would she be mad at Will as well? A childish notion, but Will found himself thinking that as he left Jack in the hallway and went in search of Molly.

Not that he could ask her, she was still out. Will looked at her, took in the sight of the bloody dressings across her torso and how her beautiful face was scratched and bruised. She didn't deserve that, she didn't belong there. She deserves every happiness and safety. Every reason to smile should be hers. And Will found himself shaky as he entered and sat at her side. He felt incredibly lost at the moment. Torn again because he didn't know what to do and how to fix this.

It wasn't fair for her! Or Walter.

Will closed his eyes, not caring what anyone did at the moment because all he could do was sit there. Will knows without a doubt that there are choices that had to be made about what he does or what anyone does from this point out. Especially Molly, Walter and himself. Right now, right here it had to be about them. About Will. But for the moment, Will wanted to wait until she woke up to see what things would be like for her or what she's feeling.

So with nothing else to do, Will found himself slipping deeper inside of himself. Not going to sleep.

Counting to three, Will opened his eyes and found himself standing in a river dressed in fishing gear and with a fishing rod in his hands. Smiling despite himself, it was a peaceful day here at his river. The trees were green and healthy and the water cool around his waist. This river is known to Will through an old photo that spoke of it being a favorite place to visit in his youth, always with his Father. Will couldn't remember coming here himself, but the pictures lets him paint a picture of what it could have been like.

And if he was correct.

It was perfect.

Casting the fishing lure into the water, Will waited for nothing to bite. It was just the act itself. It let him focus on something he enjoyed doing. And that was fishing. You didn't need a memory to be attached to know this, and Will rediscovered it a year ago when he went fishing with Molly and Walter. They didn't catch anything and Will ended up soaked because he slipped and fell into the water. Molly laughed at him, so did Walter. And Will laughed in spite of himself.

But it wasn't this river. This river was Will's and Will's alone.

Unfortunately, it became all too clear he wasn't alone. The sound of hooves could be heard as something else waded into the river with him. Will looked down into the water, the reflection of what was behind him confused Will. It was massive, with a large rack of antlers on its head and it was black. It wasn't an elk or anything like it. A stag? No, they weren't black either! And they certainly didn't have feathers!

Will forced himself to turn around to look at it. Its eyes were red and Will found himself stumbling back quickly to get away from it despite it not making a move to hurt him or even come closer. It just observed as Will struggled to get away.

It was only back to the hospital room that Will had to go, the moment he dragged himself from the feathered stag in his river. Will didn't know how much time passed, but Molly was awake now and seeing here tear streaked face did things to Will that he didn't like, he was angry. So angry that Will wanted to hurt something, someone. But he couldn't because that shouldn't be who he is. Instead, Will crossed the room to her side and taking her hand into his. Will wasn't much for affection, but he couldn't stop himself from kissing the top of her hand gently. Reassuring himself that she was there and awake and alive.

“You put on baseball. Why did you put on baseball?” Molly asked easy question to start. Will eyed it for a moment before focusing on her, it was the least he could do at the moment.

“I wanted you to feel safe. Walter's safe. The dogs are safe. We're picking them up, bringing them in.” Will explained and she seemed satisfied with that answer. Any conversation that came after that was quiet and stressed. She wanted to know why that man came after them. Will didn't know exactly, but for some reason, he could guess who was the cause of it. It had to have been under suggestion because the man wouldn't have done it himself, they didn't fit the usual victim pattern that this dragon preferred. They weren't a perfect and happy family. They weren't even a family. They were friends who happened to have gotten married. They were roommates who cared about each other.

“Wally almost died. My son almost died. I almost died.” Molly's voice was quiet and hurt, and Will found it to be a horrible thing to hear but kept listening as she said, “I knew it was him. I knew it was him.” She was angry and Will couldn't blame her for that, there was more to what she wanted to say. Perhaps bringing up the paper that Walter mentioned earlier, a paper that Will wanted to search for to see what he was missing exactly.

Will waits on her, listens to her as she takes a deep breath in and out. The anger seems to go with it, how she could do that Will would never know. And he admires her for it. She wants to go home, but she couldn't because she still required care and it was an unspoken point that they didn't know if the house would be safe yet. The dragon was still out there and unfortunately, there was work to be done.

And someone to confront about this, because Will could guess who was at fault for it beyond the dragon. And Will knows that either Jack or Dr. Bloom could do nothing but confirm this.

It took a lot to leave her side, and it seemed like a part of her was afraid to let him go as well. Even going so far as telling him that if he leaves now she was afraid she would lose him for good. Will couldn't say anything about that because he himself feels like this whole situation was spiraling out of his control and his stomach could only tighten in his anger at it. At how easy it was to get him here and on this case. How desperate he is for his own memories. How easy it was for Dr. Lecter to not only get under his skin but find a way to hurt Molly and Walter indirectly.

Why would he do that? How could he do that to Will? Whatever past they shared, was it enough that the man felt he had rights to hurt Will or tamper with his life? If this situation had anything to say about the matter, it almost seemed like he wasn't done with Will.

The ball was in Will's court now, the decision on how he reacts next is his decision.

Only another voice echoed words that were never spoken outside of Will's own mind, and he didn't know what they meant yet or why they were here now.

_“He made a place for us.”_

Why would he imagine a girl, that girl- Abigail saying that even though he has no face or memory to go with it. The words are there and just in his grasp. Yet nothing to go with it and no explanation but feelings to go with them. It was just another thing to push aside, he had a situation to deal with. A decision to make and he had to deal with someone.


	11. Chapter 11

Will found himself getting angrier as he got closer to the hospital for the criminally insane. There was a sense of betrayal there, Will felt like he was being betrayed yet again. And always, it seemed to be by one Doctor Hannibal Lecter who does the betraying. Granted, Will knows that he himself has pulled the same stunt. But if you're going by numbers, Will was still very far behind in comparison. Not that it mattered at the moment, not with the present requiring his attention.

Getting past the security checks was a problem, they were more thorough then the night shift and Will had to bite his tongue more than once while waiting for them to clear him. Once that happened Will went straight to Dr. Lecter's glass cage. Dr. Lecter was already waiting for him, almost like he sensed Will coming. An eerie thought, but one that was pushed aside.

“What did you say to him?” There were so many other things Will wanted to say, anger fuelled words. But this was as good as he could do, as he fought to reign in his own emotions. Seeking control when control is hard to come by given the emotions running rampant in his mind.

“I said: 'Save yourself. Kill them all.' Then I gave him your home address.” Dr. Lecter replied, and Will could only find himself staring at the blunt and honest reply. It was purely unapologetic and Will didn't know why he was in some faint way hoping for that. And in that breath, he didn't know who he was kidding. This wasn't a guy who did things without thinking them through carefully enough to mean what he does and says.

It felt like this always seems to be his way, especially with Will.

“Always scheming toward hurt.” Will pointed out and found himself fighting hard to push down the betrayal or the childish questions of why did you do that to me. How could you do that to me? They were childish and with Dr. Lecter they would be counter productive and only open up more problems for him in the long run. He was already deep in Will's mind as it was, or so it seems. Will still had to figure a lot of things out.

And Dr. Lecter wasn't really helping him in wanting to find out more.

In fact, this only made Will want to turn and leave and never come back.

“How is the wife?” A question, one that lacks sincerity to some degree. Yet in the same breath, Will knows he means it. He genuinely wants to know how Molly is.

“She has a vigilance for lumps and hard-brought knowledge that time is luck. How is she? She's lucky.” Will answers and only realizes afterward that he addressed her as she rather than what she was supposed to be. His wife. Even though he doesn't remember marrying her or falling in love with her or why they wanted to marry each other in the first place. He's been told more than once and he's found himself falling in with the idea of her and wanting nothing more to cling to her friendship and warmth.

“She survived the Great Red Dragon. Takes a pinch more than luck. You married her for something. When you look at her now, what do you see?” Dr. Lecter's words meant more then what they were, somehow Will knows this and he plays them back for a moment. There's also a question of why it seems like Dr. Lecter knows more about his choices than Will does and that in itself was beyond frustrating. It was also something that Will couldn't let show. It was bad enough he came in here angry and betrayed and both emotions as clear as day. He didn't need to give the man anything more.

“You know what I see.” Will answered, and if Dr. Lecter knows Will as well as he seems. Then it's an easy answer to fill out for himself. And Will is going to let him. But Will didn't get his answer, instead, Dr. Lecter carried on with the case, talking about the killer.

It led Will to know for a fact that at this point, the Red Dragon evolved enough to now believe that he could do anything. His normal method for choosing the families have been altered. Will's own family was a testament to that. They weren't a perfect and happy family. Will didn't even sleep with his wife. They didn't fit the profile at all.

And this, this was only one reason Ha-Dr. Lecter has done what he has done. It was like another time before, back when he just got back into the field. Will couldn't give himself details but he knows it has to do with the Minnesota Shrike case somehow. He feels it in his bones.

“Fear brushes the walls of your chest, circling inside of you like a bat in a house. Get hold of it.” Dr. Lecter stated it was enough to make Will realize that the Dragon gotten hold of his and that could very well be a very concerning thing. It means they had less time to catch this killer than anyone originally thought. He could very well strike again. And Will knows he would have to help Jack come up with something.

It is Dr. Lecter who first brings up change, although with more words than necessary at this point. But Will gets the point, and the families make more sense in the way they're laid out and killed. They weren't just simply murdered. They were changed, to the Dragon this wasn't murder at all. Not entirely anyway.

Will didn't listen to another word Dr. Lecter said, and it didn't feel correct when it was pointed out that this Dragon might want to change Will as well. There was something off about that, though at the moment he wasn't entirely sure how or what it could very well mean. So he did the next best thing. He turns to leave and almost makes it to the door.

“Will.” Dr. Lecter's voice called out to him, stopping him like he always seems to be able to do. Though Will didn't turn around, but he did listen as Dr. Lecter continued, “Do let me know if you catch that bat. It could very well open many doors for you.” Will didn't know if that could be possible. That it could be fear or something like fear that held his memories at bay. Could it be that simple? Was that even possible? It was something Will had to phone his doctor about.

Reaching into his pocket he felt the card he got earlier from one Freddie Lounds and had an idea. Or more like a simple thought that he text Jack about. He didn't feel like talking to anyone so instead of meeting up with Jack or Dr. Bloom, Will made his way outside. It was getting late, logically he knows that the best place for him to go is to go back to the hospital to see Molly again, to check in with Walter and see if he wants to come with Will back to the hotel room.

But he doesn't, instead he returns to the hotel room alone and with a bottle of Old Grand-Dad Bounded Bourbon. It wasn't a favorite but it was the first thing he could grab and with the amount of cash on him it worked. He needed a drink and this, this felt more than normal to him. He's no doubt done this many times. Drinking while angry was probably not the best idea. But, it didn't stop him from locking the door and pulling out a plastic cup and pouring a double shot at first. By the time Will pulled himself away from the bottle, there was shockingly still two-thirds left. Worse when he didn't feel the need to drink any more than that.

Instead, he found himself heading to bed early. Not that sleep came easy to him, in fact, it was hard so Will decided to go through his files again. This time focusing on Florence, and the files that were present about this time though they were slim and fairly empty of actual information. And what was there, felt like lies. Just not his lies. So he went to the hotel's lobby and used the guest computer and started to look things up in Florence. It was a long shot, but he was looking for a place that he knows he could have very well been or where Dr. Lecter may have been.

A few hours later, he found it and asked to print a few pages off. It cost him three dollars, but it got him what he wanted. And with he papers about the Normal Chapel and the Catacombs. Both felt familiar and it was only by chance that he found it on a tourist site. The pictures weren't the greatest, but it was enough for Will to paint a picture in his mind if he had to. And that was exactly what he did when he got back to his hotel room.

He sat on his bed, and let the pendulum swing with three wide strokes.

Despite his lingering anger and betrayed feelings. Will let himself get lost in the chapel. Will let himself walk and as he walked the picture of it became clearer, missing parts were slowly being put together and Will knows without a doubt that he walked here before. But it wasn't the skull's or the ceiling that held his attention. He pushed forward. Pushed his way into the catacombs. And found himself there.

_Punic stone two millennia old surrounded him, but that did nothing to wow him or draw his attention. Instead, Will listens and carefully monitors his breathing. There's a walkway weaving through dozens of mummified corpses. It led down to a darkened maze and only partially illuminated by infrequent candlelight. It did nothing to deter him as he pushed forward, there was someone else walking here and Will knows who it is. And he was unhurried._

_There was a curl of excitement and dread and so many things that Will could barely understand. But it did nothing to stop him. It only pushed him forward._

_“Hannibal.” Will called out, and listens. Those steps stop and Will listens to his own voice echo. There was no reply, something that was more disappointing than it had any right to be. Worse when those steps resumed and Will found himself quickly trying to pursue. In the end, he found himself at a junction that only led to many different directions and there was a greater sense of disappointment to be found. Disappointment and disapproval as a new set of footprints could be heard._

_Only behind him._

_Will knows who it was and the greeting of, “Signor Graham...” confirmed it._

Will opened his eyes, the man that voice belongs to. Will didn't know so he once again looked through the small file about Florence desperately trying to find a hint before he loses track of where this memory leads. His earlier anger and betrayed feelings momentarily forgotten and set aside. He was on to something! And as though he had tunnel vision, he pursued it with a near wild determination. Eventually, he finds a name that felt familiar and correct.

One Inspector Rinaldo Pazzi. The disappointing thing really was by the time he found it, things started to drift away. Like a dream would for some in the mornings. And Will found himself disappointed and doing the only thing available to him. And that was getting hold of his bourbon.

_“You're already dead, aren't you?”_

Those five words were the only thing that seemed to stay with him. At least for the moment as he took two more shots. It was a miracle that he didn't just top his plastic cup off with his drink at this point. But even to Will, that seemed to some degree, careless. He had work to do and it may not be the smartest thing to start tomorrow off with a bad hangover. Guilt drove him forward, he knows that much. Will just doesn't know why or what the full memory was. He just got a taste of it. Just a taste. Guilt and an honest need was there, and Will was searching for something as well as someone. An anchor maybe?

Eventually, Will does what he can to push the memory aside, in truth it had little to do with recent events with Dr. Lecter in regards to the killer and Molly and her son. Will let out a bitter laugh, that recent surge of anger and betrayal pushed back to the surface. Just not as loud as it was before. All Will felt at the moment was tired as he moved from the floor where he rushed to in order to find one man's name. The bed was not as welcoming as he may have wished it to be, but it was there where Will found himself laying in the dark. The curtains did a fine job keeping whatever light was still on outside out.

Holding his head tightly, Will found himself just dwelling on the emotions he felt from that memory and the emotions he had to deal with today with Molly and Dr. Lecter. It all just left him feeling tired and annoyed. Nothing added up and nothing fit properly. It was moments like this where Will wished that he had someone to help him with his memories, but most people he knew tried to either hide the truth from him or protect him from his own memories. So that just left himself.

By the time Will was half asleep, a vibration from the nightstand pulled him from whatever sleep he almost had. It was Jack who was giving Will the heads up that they were going ahead with the plan to bait the killer using Freddie Lounds. After all, Dr. Lecter was not being that helpful anymore. Will knows that Jack probably has the plan put together well enough that he doesn't need Will to help him with that. Will trusted Jack enough for it, at least for now. What he did do was take out the card Freddie Lounds gave him, he sent a text requesting her to meet him first at least half an hour before they all go through with this plan.

In the back of his mind, his own words came forward.

_“Hannibal... I forgive you.”_

Why? Why would he say that! And why did it creep up now, even if it has something to do with the memory he gained back if only partially. It still missed a lot of context as to why he would forgive him and what exactly did he forgive him for. Despite the files that he had there was still empty spots. Nothing blanked out this time. But most of it dealt with cases he's worked on or basic information about people in his life. Will has yet to bring himself to read the thick file involving Dr. Lecter's trial.

His phone vibrated again, this time it was Freddie Lounds agreeing. Will turned his phone off at this point and simply closed his eyes to attempt to sleep despite how unsettled he is about why he would say those words. With what he's heard and found out so far from bits and pieces, he doesn't understand why he would forgive such a man who has obviously caused him a decent amount of harm. Both emotionally and physically.

His following sleep was unsettled with the sound of hooves and an eerie call that echoed out.


	12. Chapter 12

Will found himself standing outside of the room, he needed some more time to think. Some time to go over a few thoughts in his mind especially after his conversation with Freddie Lounds only thirty minutes earlier. About what she knew regarding Will's connection to Dr. Lecter and more importantly why he seemed to have forgiven him in those tunnels. And he needed to understand why it was legit, why it was the truth from what seemed like the deepest part of himself. Will needed to know how he could possibly forgive someone like Dr. Lecter after everything he's done.

He knows more now after his conversation with the backward reporter. He now knows of the Encephalitis and the time he spent in therapy before he was imprisoned like an animal and kept in a basement like a dirty secret of the FBI's. It was angering, and it was that anger that had Freddie backing away from him fear masked by feigned concern. It only seemed to have made Will angrier. But he controlled it and he thanked her for the conversation and agreed that she could write whatever she wants later on in regard to the story that involves him and this case once the killer has been caught. Granted, Will knows she would have written that story anyway. But at least this way Will can pretend to be semi-okay with it.

_“Why would I talk to you about this?” Will had asked her, once he realized that she was parroting back information that Will fed her during her time playing dead. But the answer was obvious to Will, with everything that was clearly going on with Jack and Dr. Lecter. Will needed someone outside of the whole mess to speak to. And who better than a living ghost?_

_Will knows he should thank her for going easy on him in her stories despite the picture of him in the hospital._

_But he won't._

He didn't .

Will stared through the door as Freddie Lounds was being given the rules and the composite sketch of their suspect. The Tooth Fairy. The Red Dragon. Their family killer. A killer that means less to Will as time goes on. What mattered more and more to him was the mystery that was himself and now the mystery on why he could possibly forgive someone who has obviously hurt him so much in so many ways already. Why he would go chasing after him and earning the false title of murder husbands from the backward reporter who spins tales full of lies and stretched truths to feed a ravenous yet ignorant group of readers.

“Fuck...” Will muttered to himself. Everything just seemed so messed up at the moment and Will can see that it was only going to get worse especially with this new ploy being put into play in order to catch their dragon. He needed a stiff drink and to make a phone call to Molly to have her ground him again. Focus him away from his past and to this case. But he remembers where she was and he couldn't make himself do that to her. He's done enough damage as it was by her knowing him. By him not remembering why he married her. Why he obviously fell for her.

So instead, he stood up straight and shook himself off mentally before entering the room where everyone who needs to be there was setting up. Jack was the only one Will could stand so without thinking he positioned himself close to him. He didn't seem to mind, either that or he didn't notice. Not that it mattered to Will.

Jack's voice did wonders for shaking off the last of his idle thoughts and forcing him into the here and now as he explained to Chilton, “She's here because we need someone who is less concerned about the whole truth than the best story.” Which to Will was an understatement, but he said nothing and let Jack continue on. It wasn't until Freddie spoke up that Will took an active role in this.

“You're making statements no investigator would ever make and no straight newspaper would credit.” Funny hearing that coming from someone Will considers to be disgustingly backward with her skills in writing about cases.

“You're not a straight newspaper.” Of that Will is certain and for a moment Will felt his disgust swirling up along with a need to break something. It was a surprising sensation, but one he shoved aside continuing with, “You sell T-shirts that say, 'The Tooth Fairy Is a One-Night Stand'.” Disgusting. Uncalled for. Someone really should put her out of business, unfortunately so many ravenous and ignorant fools seem to thrive off the stories she spins and the merchandise she sells.

Of course, she would have a snide return for his words and a mock complaint that her shirts are no longer selling so well since the name change. Like Will cared. Of course, this is where Dr. Chilton cut into the situation with his own remarks and findings. Though Will disagreed with a lot of what he said, nothing will be said to correct him. This was needed, they needed to flush this dragon out. And they had to stop him from killing another family.

“The Tooth Fairy it is.” Jack stated, voice calm and it was clear that the game is on with him.

With the camera set on record, focused thanks to Freddie and at the moment trained on Dr. Chilton. Dr. Chilton was going to be their authoritative voice here in regards to this killer. They needed someone for this role and Dr. Bloom had a family to be concerned for. So it was only Dr. Chilton who is usable for this.

“The Tooth Fairy's actions indicate a projective delusion compensating for intolerable feelings of inadequacy. Smashing mirrors ties these feelings to his appearance.” Dr. Chilton seemed so proud in his own analysis on this particular character and Will wondered which chapter of that new book this will be in. Unfortunately, this was also where Will has to cut in. He had a role to play as well.

“Not only is the Tooth Fairy insane, he is ugly and impotent.” A childish thing to say, but it's needed and Will mildly enjoys the slight distraction he causes in an unsuspecting Dr. Chilton. Will should be concerned, but oddly he wasn't.

“There's a strong bonding of aggressive and sexual drives that occurs in sadists at an early age.” Dr. Chilton said, obviously recovered from Will's initial interruption. Too bad for him that it wasn't the last.

Will adds, “He's vicious, perverted, sexual failure. An animal.” It earned him a look this time and Will shoves that odd feeling of curious glee down as far as he could. He'll explore the reasoning for it later.

“The savage acts aimed primarily at the women, and performed in the presence of family, clearly strikes at a maternal figure.” Dr. Chilton said no doubt expecting Will's insert and Will doesn't disappoint as he says, “The Tooth Fairy's the product of an incestuous home.” Needlessly said, it went without saying that Freddie is clearly enjoying what she's hearing and Will hopes that she does. It would work better for the story and the bait they were trying to set up.

“This is the child of a nightmare.” Dr. Chilton said, it was odd to hear compassion in those words and Will had to wonder if it was natural or if this is just another product of Dr. Chilton trying to be more than what he is or bigger than what he should be. Will ends up finding himself hung on those words for a brief moment, but not for very long. Freddie pressing the stop drew his attention from those words to her.

A picture was brought out by Freddie, a concept drawing of their dragon that looked more like what you would see in one of those old horror films regarding Frankenstein's monster. Of course, Freddie had an inappropriate suggestion for a photo. One that was instantly squashed before it can take root or Will can find himself more annoyed than he already is.

Will took his spot next to the window, making sure he was in a spot that would clearly show the fountain and the Capitol dome behind him. The Dragon had to find the place after all if he wanted to and Will is sure that he would. Memories or not, Will knows how to do his job. He felt awkward, this wasn't usually something he liked to do. It was why Molly had few photographs of him. It must have been a dislike from his early years.

“Would you like to be in the picture, Frederick?” Will didn't know why he just said what he did. But he did and now Will finds himself curious to see what happens. Though the reasons behind it is just out of his reach, and this means that it would be another thing he will be forced to try and imagine why. There seemed to be a lot of that lately.

Unsurprisingly Dr. Chilton joined him and before Freddie could take the photo, Will found himself putting his arm around the other man's shoulders in a comradely fashion. Jack kept watching the entire situation and as soon as it was done and Freddie confirming that she has all that she needs, Will took the moment to be alone. He needed to be alone and isolate himself for a time if only to think about a few things.

One the important question of why did he forgive Dr. Lecter.

Two the curious question of why he brought Dr. Chilton further into this mess.

Will is aware of the dangers that he just put Dr. Chilton in, it was a dangerous thing to tempt and bait a killer like the Red Dragon. To mock him and publicly say such blatant lies about him. Yet he found himself sickly curious as to what would happen. Did he hope that it would happen or not? Will found himself disturbed by it. But not as disturbed as he should be. Which was another thing he wanted to know about.

And thus far it seemed like there was only one person who seemed to be the most honest with Will. And seemed to have all the answers, though getting him to let go of some of those answers ended up costing Will answers that Dr. Lecter wanted to know.

Could this be why? No, no it didn't make sense because back when he forgave Dr. Lecter Will had all his memories. He had all the pieces he needed they just seemed to be slightly skewered and buried underneath something in himself. Denial? But from what?

“Will.” It was Jack. Will ended up following him and not saying a word as they exited the building and headed in the direction of the hotel Will was staying at for the moment. The cool breeze was welcomed for Will. It was clear that Jack actually didn't like the way they were going about this, it being too passive. Will doubted it would stay like that. How would it?

“He thinks he can do anything. Maybe he thinks he can stop. If he can hold off until we catch him, maybe we can help him make it stop.” Who was Will kidding? But it was a desperate cling he had that had him uttering words of helping. It was honest all the same and Jack made it a point to remind Will that Molly and her son were nearly killed. Like he needed reminding.

“Dr. Lecter almost killed them.” Will pointed out, the dragon was simply a bullet from a gun shot by Dr. Lecter. And yet, Will forgave him for past grievances. It wasn't a stretch to imagine himself forgiving him for this as well. Why? This seemed like a conversation Jack didn't want to get into at the moment so it shifted back to duty. Letting Will know of his part in the plan.

Just before they separated to go their own ways Will found himself stopping Jack from leaving. Jack seemed concerned so, of course, that led to him asking if Will was okay.

“Why did I forgive him? Jack, I remember forgiving Dr. Lecter for the shit he put me through. How could I do that, after all, the pain and grief I was obviously put through?” Will asked, he didn't know how he looked in Jack's eyes but the shock and sorrow that was there led Will to believing that he must have looked small to the other man for a moment. Lost maybe?

“I don't know Will, but maybe that can help you find some sort of peace?” It sounded false to Will, Jacks words. Like he knew something and didn't want to say or didn't know how to say it so he decided on a gentle lie. Will didn't call him on it, but it did something to Will and he found himself putting some space between them before taking in the area around them. Perhaps this would be the next place for a showdown with the dragon?

It was a last look before Will found himself in his hotel room again. His mind agonized over trying to figure things out. Trying to understand some of his decisions and feelings today. He needed to. Will did the only thing he could think of. He re-read the reports about that night in the kitchen. He didn't read his own, there was none because of his injuries he was only questioned and those questions were brief due to the drugs pumped into his veins.

But the whole thing read as a fairy tale spun to make hero's rather than the truth of the matter.

_“You remember when you decided to call Hannibal?”_

Did he call? That wasn't in the report. There was an accusation in Jack's voice. Will knows that now. What was the accusation for? Does it tie into things now? With Will and everyone else? Will found he only had more questions and fewer answers as time goes on. And he was alone to figure it out. And that isolation was suffocating. It was like he had a moment before he lost his memories of knowing some for of absolute companionship and now to not have it was near torture. And disturbingly enough, Molly only was a bandage for that despite his genuine affection for her.

Will ended up getting a phone call before his planned walk. It was Jack and he had bad news regarding who was targeted instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is near. And sorry I haven't updated in quite some time now. This chapter was difficult for me but I do have some idea of how it's going to end and after this chapter I hope there will be smooth sailing. Will will get his answers soon enough, at least enough that will cement his decision for what comes. 
> 
> Again, I am so sorry it took so long to update this and I do hope that it's good enough to fit what you may have been hoping to see...


	13. Chapter 13

Will couldn't remember the last time he lost track of time, forgot the days events. Not with the events that has taken place with the case this day and what has happened with one Doctor Frederick Chilton. Will couldn't stand the man even without memories to tell him why exactly. But that didn't stop him from knowing that fate that he attracted, was not what he deserved. Yet, Will found himself torn and confused by the emotions he was dealing with. Most shoved aside, all to make room for horror as he finished listening to the phone call and the foreboding grip that held him tightly as he made his way to Jack's office the hours later. The next day?

Either way, time didn't matter. What did was the consequences of a hand on a shoulder purposely placed and the obvious rage of a killer who didn't take kindly nor react the way that was originally wished for.

Will's main focus for the start at the start of the film was the fact that Molly and her son were filmed and that film was playing silently in the background. It made him sick, it was his fault they were caught in a web that they shouldn't have been. They were dear to Will, nothing would change that memories or not. And he desperately wished he could make it so they never experienced the horror of someone trying to kill them.

Will's attention was immediately pulled back to the foreground of the recording. To the frightened man speaking from a script from the sounds of it written by the Dragon himself.

“I have had a great privilege. I have seen with wonder and awe the strength of the Great Red Dragon. I lied about Him. All that was said was lies from Will Graham. He made me say them. I have blasphemed against the Dragon. Even so, the Dragon is merciful. He knows you made me lie, Will Graham. Because I was forced to lie, He will be more merciful to me than to you, Will Graham.”

There is a pause, and Will couldn't put words to his own experience at the moment. His imagination working full force and his own heart pounding in his ears to go with it. That imagination was what kept him from looking at Dr. Bloom or Jack, this whole case had him wound tight and mind working overtime. And that was without his own desperate search for who he is and who he was. It made his head feel beyond full most of the time.

“Reach behind you, Will Graham, and feel for the small knobs on the top of your pelvis. Feel your spine between them; that is the precise spot where the Dragon will snap your spine. There's much for you to dread. From my own lips, you'll learn a little more to dread.”

Lips that were sent to and had one eaten by one Doctor Hannibal Lecter.

The recording stopped there and before Will can take a breather, regain his footing in this thing it showed more. Will had to watch with a sinking feeling and a twisted notion as he stared at a back with the Great Red Dragon emblazoned across it. Will knew what was coming now and Dr. Chilton's recorded screams only confirmed it. Dr. Bloom said something but Will couldn't hear it. The only thing he could do was back up so his back was against something solid.

“No... 'o, 'ou 'promised... 'ou 'promised.”

Those words chased Will to the ground where he tried almost desperately to hide from them. Dr. Bloom spoke again but it was nothing but noise drowned out by Dr. Chilton's agonized sobs. A fate Will would wish on no one, he is sure of it. Positive. It was clear everyone was disturbed and unsettled. Angry and regretful. And all Will wanted to do to block them and Dr. Chilton's pain out was to bury his head between his knees and try as hard as he could to calm himself down.

He is aware that he was on the verge of hyperventilating.

He feels too much sometimes, he swears to it. Without a word Will literally fled from the office to the nearest bathroom. It was there that Will emptied an already empty stomach as he crumbled to his knees once again. The toilet provided something solid as he grasped the seat and panted.

Will didn't know how long passed before he dragged himself up to his feet and made his way out of the stall and to the sink to wash his face and rinse his mouth. Feeling calmer now Will found himself wondering how the events came to be. Why it happened and Will knew almost instantly that it was because of him. He placed his hand on Dr. Chilton's shoulder right before the photo was taken. For authenticity as he could explain then. Now however, now he was left with a thought that refused to leave him alone.

He couldn't stand Dr. Chilton, memories or not. Will knows this, this has been the constant today. Was his lack of ability to stand the man translate into him wanting to put the doctor at risk. To have him hurt? Could he go that far? Though the answer to that question was already answered as Dr. Chilton fought for his life from severe full body burns and missing lips.

Will was still in the bathroom, though now on steady feet when Jack came to find him. It was here they spoke. Jack making sure he was okay, in a roundabout way. Though there was bits that were cut out up until Will forced him to come clean. For once feeling a strength in him that was unexpected. It's how he learnt the connection to why Dr. Chilton was burned and Will felt sick that it was the real time show of what he's done to an already dead body before. It tied back into Freddie Lounds as well, this whole situation tied together nicely. Will didn't like it.

“Chilton said your name in the E.R. When they brought him in.” Jack said, that caught Will's attention a bit. Though it was understandable given the scripted words Dr. Chilton spoke before losing his lips and then getting burned for what's been done on record.

By some unknown decision, Will found himself with Jack at the hospital not too long after the bathroom conversation with Jack. Will had to steady himself when he saw how badly injured the man was. Will listened as Jack brought their presence to the man's attention.

“I'm sorry this happened to you.” Will found himself saying. Did he mean it? In some ways he had to. He did, that much Will can be sure of. Anger could be clearly seen, and Will can understand. Dr. Chilton was nearly killed.

“Tooth Hairy.” The words nearly spat out by Dr. Chilton, as best as he was able to do so. Will pushed forward though in order to see if Dr. Chilton knew where he was taken. That was a big part of why they were there. And to give their condolences for what has happened. To apologize to some extent. And Will meant the apology he said.

“You set ne uh. You knew it. You set ne uh. Tut your hand on ne in the ticture, like a tet.” Dr. Chilton's words were filled with anger and Will forced himself to focus only on the burnt man in front of him. It was shockingly easier that he had thought it would be given what has happened. Jack didn't know what was said, or at least wanted Will to say it out loud. It could very well be either one of those. So Will told him,  
“He said, 'You set me up. You knew it. You set me up. Put your hand on me in the picture, like a pet'.”

Will didn't pay Jack any more mind to see what sort of reaction that got. He was sure that he would be hearing about it later. Or at least suspected that he would be.

“Did you see anything?” Will asked Dr. Chilton. Thankfully that anger was dispelled enough for him to answer and fill them in on what he saw, who he saw beyond the Dragon. A woman who happened to be blind. Will knew instantly that she could very well be in trouble even though she was loved by the Dragon.

The Dragon was in love. The Dragon was in love with a woman who couldn't see him and so he could have had a moment to be someone else. Someone good for her. But events are unfolding that made it clear to Will that that love would not be enough to save her from some harm even if she wasn't killed.

Without thinking Will's hand found it's way to his stomach. The scar. His scar. The one was given and forced onto him by Dr. Lecter. One of many Will knows without words and memories. But the one on his stomach, that one spoke the loudest.

Jack ended up dropping him off at the hotel and left without uttering a word. Both of them lost in their own thoughts and no doubt suspicions or concerns. Will didn't speculate too much on that, instead he went and had a shower that ended with him just standing in front of the hotel mirror looking over his scars. It was all he could do before picking up the phone not bothering to dry off or get dressed. He phoned BSHCI and almost fighting with Dr. Bloom who his call was forwarded to before she allowed him to speak with Dr. Lecter over the phone.

Pleasantries were offered first. But those didn't last long, it was obvious to the both of them that Will was bothered. Perhaps it was even obvious that at this very moment Will felt choked by his own thoughts and the isolation the hotel room trapped him with.

The case was used as a crutch. It wasn't until Will focused on the beginnings of what was bothering him at the moment.

“He loves her. The blind woman who Dr. Chilton saw when he-” Will said and listened as there was a pause on the other end. It was clear that there was more than one person in the room, Dr. Lecter wasn't allowed unsupervised calls anymore. It was illegal, but it was done anyway and that made something burn in Will. He could sympathize, he knows he could. The files spoke of his own treatment by the law. And his emotions only backed it up.

“He loves her, but he'll be able to cause her harm. He could very well kill her.” Will continued and his mind steadied for the first time that day it felt like. It was almost like a breath of fresh air. Will allowed himself to enjoy that relief for a moment before he continued,  
“It's a situation of love that is any way rational and good.” Will was going by what he's read and seen during his time with Molly while grasping on his own to try to find definitions and understandings of things. Not having memories to back things up made things difficult. And Will noted that not once did he give Dr. Lecter a chance to weigh into this part of the conversation and Will was glad that the man allowed Will to go on like this.

“Not all love is gentle. Sometimes it's gritty and dirty and possessive, sometimes it's not supposed to be careful or soft at all. Sometimes it feels like teeth.” Dr. Lecter said, though it sounded like a quote to Will. And that was confirmed as he continued,  
“Love is something only individuals would be able to define for themselves, Will. But not all romances and love are pure and sweet, gentle even. Some are just as you seen with our Dragon and the woman he loves.”

“Filled with blood and passion, violence even?” Will added and once again his attention was drawn to the scar on his stomach and now to the one on his forehead that was clearly seen thanks to having his hair slicked back due to the shower he recently finished.

“Yes. That as well.” Dr. Lecter confirmed, something seemed to shake in his voice. To the unobservant that shake would not be heard or noticed in any way. But to Will, it left him near lightheaded. How could someone he doesn't remember beyond the little bit he's regained and read affect him so much? It was this question that would prompt him to put words to another question that will didn't even know he had,  
“Are you... in love with me?” Why did he ask that?! Will wanted to hang up and almost did if not for hearing his name spoken. It was as though the other man knew that Will wanted to hang up, to flee from the conversation Will was not prepared to have nor did he even know would happen.

“Could I daily feel a stab of hunger for you and find nourishment in the very sight of you?” Dr. Lecter's words seem to cut straight into him leaving him torn in two directions. Or perhaps more, this is a man who seemed to delight and relish the ability to reach parts of Will that Will didn't know he had or perhaps refused to acknowledge perhaps.

Will had to focus on breathing for a moment before hanging up. How did this become his life? Will set his cellular phone down before backing away from it and finding himself sitting at the end of his bed. What has his life become since he joined this investigation. Will didn't move an inch even as he gained a text from Jack regarding the whereabouts of the blind woman- Reba McClane was being held. Given the length of the texts he had the killer had a name now as well. Francis Dolarhyde and with it a place to start. And Jack has decided to go without him this time around but was told to be prepared to question Reba McClane. Apparently the physical part of this job was now out of his hands due to the situation of his lack of memory and what happened the last time he did field work without Jack directly being there.

And this that was fine, it gave him more time to think. To try to wrap his mind around the latest conversation with Dr. Lecter, it shed some light on things between them and with that newly found clarity Will can figure why he forgave him with clarity that left Will thrilled and frightened. Because that connected to an ache Will has in himself and until recently he had no words to explain or even understand. But now, that left him with a new question of what he should do with that realization.

Could he return to the cabin with Molly after this? Could he go backward at all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to steal bits and pieces from Bedelia and flip things about. Hopefully this chapter is enjoyable and I'm happy that I managed to get another chapter written so soon.


	14. Chapter 14

Standing outside of a hospital room Will found himself reflecting on how rapidly things are changing in his life regardless of having his memories or not. Phantom words spoken no longer seem to chase him and in turn have Will chase after them. Will finds himself staying in the present while keeping himself open to his past. When this all ends, perhaps he'll go back to chasing those phantom words and grasp after glimpses of memories and dreams he once called reality.

The woman in the bed was not his wife, she was him and not him. She was a woman who had a monster love her and in turn loved the monster. Or more correctly the man in the monster. She was blind and strong and still there. Will wondered if he had that strength in him. The scar with the memory he won back told him that he is.

With a breath and a tensing of his muscles in his back Will entered the room and took his place on her bed. Sitting while he faced her, paying no mind to the female officer with them.

She didn't need to be coaxed into speaking.

“A man had tried to slap me once. I was quiet and he couldn't find me – he couldn't see me either. This one could see. He was crazy. Crazy, all right. That's it: crazy.” Reba's words were as sure as she could manage as she brought another ice up to her lips. Will knows though, this was just her attempts to reason with what is her reality now. But Will will follow her in her direction.

“Crazy is a fearsome word.” It was a small attempt, to say the least, to follow her direction. But it seemed to do, the acknowledgment of them anyway.

“He shot himself in the face. I put my hand in it. He set fire to the house. He shot himself. I put my hand in it. He was on the floor -” Will could hear the emotion in Reba's words even as they trailed off to silence as she fought to regain control of her emotions. Will can sympathize, though he hardly has the ability to contain his emotions at times when they seem to flare and spread and twist.

“I won't put you through this again, but I'd like to come back. Just to say hi and see how you're doing.” It was an offer as well as a simple statement. She could deny him or accept it. It was all up to her here.

“How could you help it? A charmer like me.” Will could hear and feel her bitterness and self-reproach. Something in him, or perhaps he himself couldn't bare a single thought of this woman torturing herself with this for the rest of her life. Will somehow knows what it's like only he doesn't have the words to explain how. So what he did was ask the officer to leave the room for a minute and only when they were alone did Will take control of the direction of this conversation.

“I drew a freak.” Reba all but stated, again her emotions came on strong and Will found himself looking away for a brief moment before facing her with as much attention as he could spare her.

“You didn't draw a freak. You drew a man with a freak on his back. Nothing wrong with you, don't let yourself believe there is.” Will was sure of his words, the sincerity of them anyway.

“I know there's nothing wrong with me. In making friends, I try to be wary of people who foster dependency and feed on it. I've been with a few. The blind attract them.” Reba's words were sure and precise and Will can respect that. Only he knows it wasn't only the blind who attracted people like that. Criminal books and lessons spoke of the same thing and Will knows the toxic feeling of it. He didn't need his memories to know this at least. Only he doesn't know where the toxic gave way to alluring as well as a deep well of other emotions.

He told her as much, gave her some parting words in the form of a banter before he left.

His next destination was a quick to become familiar location these days. Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane and beyond that, Dr. Hannibal Lecter's cell. Only lately Will started to find the title is missing in his thoughts of the cannibalistic serial killer.

There was no greeting, but a declaration of Francis Dolarhyde's death being ruled as a suicide. It was clear that the doctor didn't look too kindly on that part, going so far as declaring that the man was not as strong as the dragon after all.

“He was trying to stop.” Will pointed out, it was the truth because one thing he has learned in his readings and this case was that no killer was simply one-dimensional. There were cracks and hidden doors, twists and turns in every one of them. Some bigger than others, but all not as simple as one is at times led to believe.

There was a spark of amusement and mock disappointment easily showed and Will didn't waste time confronting Hannibal about it.

“It's a shame.” Dr. Lecter started. Will, of course, pushed to know what he was talking about. How those three words reflected what showed on the man's face. Will didn't have to wait long as Dr. Lecter continued, “Normally you are given openings where you can kill the killer you are so diligently chasing down for Uncle Jack. Yet this time, you came all this way and never got that same chance. Your only consolation will have to be Dr. Chilton.”

It was cruel words and blunt hints. Will wasn't surprised, not as much as he should be. Past cases he's read all showed signs of them being shot to death in a kitchen or almost shot. There was a pattern it would seem, and Will didn't like it at all. At least not in this setting.

“Are you accusing me of something?” Will demanded.

“No, instead I would like to congratulate you. For the job, you did on the good doctor. I admired it enormously. What a cunning boy you are.” This time the doctor's words despite mocking, didn't come across as spiteful or cruel. They were proud and poking at the same time. Poking at what or for what is beyond Will for the moment, but it was hardly the point.

Will had a choice, confront those words and start something he isn't ready to deal with or move past it as best that he could against a man like Han-Dr. Lecter.

“I came to stop the Dragon. He's stopped.” Will pointed out. Granted he wasn't stopped by Will, instead by himself. But it was the same outcome, the man was stopped.

“Your family was on his itinerary. Safe now. You can go home again. If there's any point.” Dr. Lecter was kind enough to follow, but Will could only focus on the fact that there seemed to be resentment in his words now regarding family and home. As for the answer to that, Will didn't know. Will already knows that nothing will be the same. Doors were opened for Will, in his mind and events tainted the comfortable existence he had with Molly and her son.

A part of him thinks he'll just slip away from her and away from here. But that was foolish thoughts.

“I like how my life is there.” Will stated, the I understand it went unspoken and a slight tilt of Dr. Lecter's head told him that the man seemed to have read it all the same regardless of whether or not it's been spoken. But such thoughts like that could also be foolish? But, what if the man did know Will so well that he didn't have to say everything to be heard? Seen? Could this be what had changed in the past and became an addiction of sorts?

A disagreeing shake of a head, subtle and barely there but Will saw it before he heard Dr. Lecter speak. Declaring what Will already knows and already suspects. That it won't be the same, they both seemed to know this and yet Will was going with the farce of wanting to return to it. Like nothing had changed.

“Molly wants it to be the same. I want it to be the same, is that not enough!?” Will didn't realize that his voice was raised slightly at the end, which was more of a question than what Will had intended it to be. In fact, he said more than what he meant to say. But that is how this worked, wasn't it? It was maddening and frustrating but invigorating because it made him think and forced him to react in new ways that seemed to act like a sharpening stone to a blade. How far did these conversations and battle of will's gone? And what topics were saved for them?

“Nothing more than mutual assurances you try to exchange in the dark and in the day will pass through some refraction, making them miss their mark.” Dr. Lecter's words came out as sure as ever, so confident that he knows what he was talking about and Will figured he probably did have a good idea given their obvious history written and still filled with missing pieces back in Will's hotel room. There was a brief pause in everything as a single breath was taken before more words followed.

“When life becomes maddeningly polite-” This was a statement that seemed to force Will into silence for a moment where all he could do is listen as he continued, “- think about me. Think about me, Will, don't worry about me.” There was something about it that made Will ache because he knows there's a reason for it. Deliberately chosen words spoken right at this moment, and Will found himself floundering to try to grasp at straws just like he was before the case brought him back and seemed to at least in some degree bring life back into him.

Will must have shown what was going on in his mind. And it was clear that he was being studied, Will felt pinned down by those eyes after all. They always did seem to pin him and hold him in place every time Will visited him in his cage.

“I never clarified my answer to your question, Will. Would you like me to answer it for you?” Dr. Lecter seemed like he was taking pity on Will, yet that seemed false as well. They both knew that Will's question was answered, yet at the same time it was still hanging in the air between them and has been kept that way since Will hung up on him.

“Yes.” Will hoped that his voice didn't sound as small as it did because Will feels like a noose was being tied around his neck.

“There it is, Will.” It was those words that made the world become silent with only his own heartbeat to keep him company. Will would have never been able to predict anything that has happened and Will knows now that there is no going back. No looking at Molly the same.

There was a question asked, but Will couldn't bring him to focus on it at the time. Instead, his words came out in a fast rush of needing to leave. And with the door buzzing open, Will wasted no time in leaving. He kept himself going until he made his way outside before collapsing on a step. He was thankful for the fact that no one was there, he needed time to catch his breath that seemed to be the only thing keeping the hysteric humorless laughter from bubbling up and breaking free.

_“But do you ache for me?”_

That question. Those words, they would forever haunt Will it seemed like. And how could they not when Will didn't know if he could answer or figure out how to answer. How can you answer a question like that to someone like Hannibal with only knowing bits and pieces that seemed to make emotions untethered to memories swirl even harder in a storm that was his own mind? It was stressful and Will found that those words chased him all the way back to the hotel room.

He hoped he had some whiskey left.

It was dark by the time he made his way back to the hotel, making a stop by the liquor store first just to be on the safe side. He messaged Jack to tell him that Will won't be available until tomorrow morning and that was that. It felt good to stand up to Jack even if it was over the phone, Will didn't know why fully except for the fact that Jack seemed like he was a bully who pushed until he gets what he wants regardless of the cost. It wasn't to be said that the man didn't have good intentions, to catch the bad guy sort of good intentions. But it didn't change facts. And it certainly won't change the fact that Will might regret it when he faces Jack tomorrow.

With a sigh, he swapped hands to open the door and hold the paper bag filled with a bottle of whiskey. Cheap stuff but it'll do him fine tonight. Not bothering to put it down a he turned around to lock the door, why put it down when you just intend to drink it from the bottle until everything is numb and you have a moment to forget and pretend he was back at the house with Molly and her son Walter.

Unfortunately for Will, a night of drunken stupor would have to take a rain check as a heavyweight seizes him from behind. A surge of panic prompted an instant reaction of struggling that only increased as he felt a rag cover his mouth, he's seen in his notes as a teacher and movies to know instantly what this was. With whatever quick thinking was left to him, Will used as much of his power to kick the door and try to push both of them backward. To get soaked washcloth off his face.

However, the strength of his assailant proved to be greater than Will had originally hoped. They were still upright and Will thrashed as hard as he could to use any hard surface that he possibly could to get some sort of leverage. All without fail, even as the sound of glass breaking didn't slow anything down or loosen the grip of his attacker.

Eventually, somehow Will managed to get them both down but it was useless. The grip on him was stronger than ever and only seemed to increase. Will's limbs started to feel heavy and his mind hazy as he was pulled further and further away from consciousness. The dazed state he was in at the moment only spoke of how far along he was as his heavy limbs couldn't struggle or kick or move as quick or as hard as they had previously.

Anger wasn't enough to hold the increasingly creeping darkness at bay! It was the realization of true hopelessness that seemed to follow him as everything went dark and his body went slack.

The only sound that echoed in a darkness that couldn't be named or explained was the clicking of hooves that seemed to cry out follow me over and over.

The next thing Will knew was the cold sensation of water being thrown in his face, it was enough to burn the darkness he was forced into away. The unnatural and unwanted darkness.

_“See...”_

Will can now as he forced himself to open his eyes and focus on anything. A broken bottle of whiskey. Ugly carpet.

“Are you all right?” An unwanted guest. Will focused on Francis, though was unable to really vocalize a response. Which might have been a good thing considering the choice words coming to the forefront of his mind. Instead he focus on the chair he was slumped in and tried to shift into a more comfortable position with limited success. Francis spoke again, Will listened idly as he manages his second attempt at righting himself in the chair using his own elbows as counterbalance.

“You didn't break my back.” Will pointed out, it was something that happens with this particular killer and given what Will felt. The man was strong enough to do it easily enough.

“Not today.” Will felt studied even as this particular dragon spoke to Will and continued to listen as he said, “Your face is closed to me.” It wasn't, Will felt naked still from his last meeting with Dr. Lecter today. He was an open book of wrong bits and coveted right bits. Will ignored how amused Francis was.

“You think you understand, don't you?” Francis wanted to know, Will can understand this. More so now than when he was first brought back into the field since losing his memories.

Will knows he had to say something, find the right words and pull them right from his skull regardless of what bleeding may occur. If he didn't, this could end badly and Will can be killed. The click of hooves drew Will's attention to a spot over the other man's shoulder. A huge black stag with antlers sharpened and darkened with blood that seemed to stain the ground with every drip that came with every step. His shifting attention caused Francis to look in the same direction, only Will knows that this nightmarish stag was only for Will. And for Will alone.

It was his.

So when Francis looked back, Will made eye contact and didn't explain what that was. Instead, he said something else. His words that he didn't speak.

“I understand that blood and breath are only elements undergoing change to fuel your Radiance.” Will spoke and swore he heard something classical playing softly within his skull. And the look of realization and recognition that Will gained for those words was telling enough, Will was clever enough to put two and two together and did so with a simple statement, “Hannibal said those words. To me.” It was the first time he could remember calling the man by his first name purposely. Despite the odd thought, up until now, it was always Doctor Lecter.

The man seemed upset and it was clear when he pointed it out that he tried to share something. Will wanted to pity him, but something in him clicked and a temptation most foul curled in his stomach. Will used the truth he knew and understood thus far.

“He betrayed me, too.” Will knows it's best to not go further than that, let Francis lead the conversation. The direction of this. The stag shook its mighty head and blood only seemed to splatter further. Doing nothing but propelling further and following Francis in this.

He shared with Reba, but only a glimpse and now he wants to share with Hannibal. Confident in his own power over his own dragon. And Will, Will found himself giving into a curiosity that until now was only a whisper that reared it's head once before and that was when he placed a hand on Dr. Chilton. Sealing his fate.

Will let his curiosity free because he wanted to know what will happen and if Will can let it happen.

“Dr. Chilton was just an annoyance to you and so am I, but Hannibal Lecter is who you need to change.” Will only focused further on the man with a roaring dragon on his back, it was clear he had the man's attention completely.

“I want to meet Lecter. I want to tell him important things. How could I manage that?” Francis pushed and Will forced himself to sit back as best that he could do with how sluggish he felt. It was about time they spoke but on his own terms and Francis Dolarhyde paid close attention to his words. It was a matter of planning and co-ordination, to say the least.

And Will, he knows somehow that he could do it.


	15. Chapter 15

The hours that followed his fateful conversation with the Red Dragon were eventful, more so in his own mind than in the world around him. To Will at the moment, the outside world was a distraction and a hindrance as he played the conversation over. It soon was joined by other conversations, memories, and readings. All of them had to do with Will and who Will is. All of it playing backward and forwards as Will constantly paid mind and grasped after each shred of identity that rightfully belonged to him yet was just out of his reach.

A fact that only seemed to focus him further in what he should do and what his future would be about. Not his past. He could reclaim that soon enough as well, but right now he needed to be here. And he had to decide on matters that would only change the outcome of his life here for good. Take in people he knows now and factor them in.

Like Jack Crawford. A fine fisherman if he ever saw one, only he didn't go after the scaled creatures in the water. Jack went after people, not just killers but he went after people who could assist or be used to get those killers. Will knows he was caught on that line, his files and t he latest case is only a testament to that. And that knowledge made something burn in Will, like anger. Whether it was potent enough to make a decision, Will didn't know.

Instead, he simply took his place at Jack's side as Jimmy Price and Brian Zeller goes over evidence.

“The Great Red Dragon lives.” A declaration they both knew to be true. This means Jack failed in his attempt to hook the killer. And Will had a conversation with the Dragon thanks to Jack's failure. But Will isn't upset about that, instead, he gave thanks because it brought him a step further in whatever is going on with him and his seemingly endless search for himself and his memories. It gave him his first glimpse of a finish line.

_“I want to thank you, Great Red Dragon.” Will spoke as he watched the man turn and walk away while he straightened himself up in his chair. Their agreements already finished and business was almost finished here._

_“Thank me? For what?” Confusion heard clearly as the Great Red Dragon paused in his movement enough for Will to know he has him._

_“For giving me a chance -” Will spoke, a steadiness seemed to be heard in his voice that wasn't there before. It was clearly enough to stop the massive man from opening the hotel door and face him, an honest expression of confusion spotted in his eyes. Eyes Will was shocked to find himself meeting._

Will focuses forward while keeping his attention on Jack, for the most part, this conversation is important and was required. Will needs it to go right and he needs this whole thing to work because Will has himself riding on it just as the outcome of everything was riding on this conversation. Will wondered if that was exhilaration he was feeling or trepidation. He didn't know. He just knows, he's almost there. And maybe, just maybe Will can find who he was and should be again.

“The obvious thing is to try and get him to come to us. Bait him with something he wants more than me.” Will suggested, it was an honest suggestion. One keyed to the direction Will wants and needs to go.

“He'd be an idiot to go for it.” Jack pointed out and Will couldn't agree more.

“I know. Want to hear what the best bait would be?” Will pushed, he knows that Jack wouldn't want to hear and would hunger to hear at the same time. It's because of that reason alone that he agreed to hear it, though making it clear that he wasn't sure if he actually did want to know.

“Hannibal would be the best bait.” Will said, only realizing afterward that he spoke the man's first name rather than the proper title as he has been up until now. He wonders if Jack noticed and if he had would he say something about it?

Of course instant reaction from Jack. Anger, confusion and a morbid curiosity as to why anyone would want to meet someone like Dr. Lecter and Will had to provide a quick answer as best that he could without giving away anything else. Will once more pushed, this conversation was all about Will pushing without being far too upfront about it.

“Set up how?” Jack's moods set on one simple thing. Curiosity and the need to catch this latest killer. Ever the fisherman.

All he has to do now was wait and hope that he wasn't making a grave mistake.

From there, Will went back to his hotel room until Jack comes to get him to go to BSHCI and see whether or not this was a go ahead or if Will had to find some insane way of getting himself safe from Dolarhyde and everyone else all the while losing everything else. It was only now that Molly and her son re-entered Will's mind and his stomach clenched in guilt at the thought of them and what he was considering and planning on doing. They would hurt because of this, possibly worse than what the already were hurting because of this case. Because Jack dragged him back and because Dr. Lecter sent a killer after them.

But, there was no going back and Will made a decision to write a letter and mail it to them. By the time they get out of the hospital and go home. The letter would be waiting. He hoped that Molly would forgive him one day.

In the end, it took a few hours before Jack pounded on his hotel door and without a word ushered him into the vehicle. Both of them silent even as they arrived and met up with Dr. Alana Bloom after hours. Will regarded her, she was colder than her younger picture in the file Will was given about her. And Will knows that he at one time was close to her, that he apparently had a crush on her of sorts. Something that didn't stick apparently because Will feels very little regarding her.

Did he wish her ill, no. But he had a very limited personal connection to her beyond the knowledge that they shared some history together involving his past and the scars that marked him. He didn't forget the fact that she had wittingly sent him in to speak with Dr. Lecter without either of them being prepared for that meeting, Will wondered how Hannibal took that slight. Will stole another glance towards her, she was marked changed in her outward appearance as well as inner. That much Will knows even without his memories. He could read her that well thanks to his own skills.

It wasn't enough to stop him grasping and moving towards his own goals.

It was done, Han-Dr. Lecter apparently tentatively agreed to the deal, as proposed.” Dr. Bloom spoke, and of course, Jack wanted to know what would make him less tentative. Will should have foreseen the answer to that question, if he had his memories he would. This whole situation could very well be different or it could be the same. Thousands of worlds after all. And this one was Will's.

“I'll say 'pretty please'.” Will agreed, more or less. Whether or not those exact words will be used is yet to be seen. Instead, other matters were brought up. Like people's reactions. It went without saying that no one will be happy or pleased to hear about the escape.

“Let them stampede. Authenticity. And let them think I helped Hannibal escape.” There it was again, his name. Will knows that it caught Dr. Blooms attention, her focus seemed to focus further on Will like she was trying to read him. Jack, unfortunately, seems to be more focused on his own need to catch the killer to focus on what is here and now.

“Why you?” Dr. Bloom asked, her voice cautious so Will had to focus further and pick his words better than he has up until now.

“Authenticity. How many people know that I don't remember? Not everyone reads Lounds garbage. The news will focus on my past, and apparently, I was far too close to the man. Apparently sailing across the oceans to find him.” Will explained, going further to explain how it could look and they all knew that Lounds would hunger for the chance to take this story and run with it. And Will wants her to. It would only add to the frenzy of this situation. Make it even more real than it already is.

They said it without speaking the words, two of the people wanted the killer caught or killed and the same went with Dr. Lecter. It was a shock and it was new and Will should have foreseen it. But it didn't change the direction of his goals. Instead, it only set them to stone.

It was done.

When Will entered the room with Hannibal's cell, Will noted the curiosity and the caution behind it. Will made eye contact as best that he could as he approached the cell's glass and he didn't stop until there was only a foot between himself and the glass, Will didn't know what he was feeling as he watched as he was matched distance for distance.

“Do you remember, Will our last conversation when I was still free? The day I was arrested, it was snowing.” Hannibal's words held veiled meanings and Will knows it's attached to the memory he spoke of that Will didn't have. Will didn't know if he would ever have that memory again, but he could feast on what this man knows of it if it came down to it.

“You know I don't.” Will stated and listened as a day was formed in his mind with the use of Hannibal's words. The day sounded bleak and Will was spoken of as someone done with the world and exhausted with it. Will wonders how much abuse he has suffered to bring him to that moment.

“You told me, word for word as I recall them: I miss my dogs. I'm not going to miss you. I'm not going to find you. I'm not going to look for you. I don't want to k now where you are or what you do. I don't want to think about you anymore.” Hannibal spoke, and it was weird to hear those words come from his mouth. The accent fit those words wrong and Will knows without being reassured, those weren't Hannibal's words they belonged to Will. And they felt false.

“And yet, memory or not. Here I am.” Will pointed out, he felt like he wanted to almost poke fun at himself. And at Hannibal, for the whole farce, this situation seems to have become. A twitch in the other's lips told him it was the same for him.

“Here you are.” Hannibal agreed, seemingly delighted at that fact.

“I told you those words, words designed to reject you. To force your hand in the only way I could, by making you want to do what I wanted to be done. You allowed yourself to be arrested and you waited until I came back. Until I needed you.” Will found his own words to feel far more intimate than any word he spoke to Molly when he was trying to fit into the role of a husband when he first just lost his memories. Trying to be who she wanted to be and who Will figured he wanted to be. In the end, they settled into a comfortable routine of housemates who were good friends.

“And do you need me, Will?” Hannibal asked Will couldn't help but notice once again how intense that gaze could become so quickly and easily. Will paused for a moment, not giving Hannibal an answer before breaking whatever spell there was with three steps backward.

“You're our best shot, Hannibal.” Will spoke, voice steady and direct before putting in the magic word that was requested, “Please.”

There must have been something there, or their previous conversation seemed to have answered something in Hannibal's mind because just then the smile given spoke of agreements and pleasure while something more shifted and breathed just behind his gaze and skin. Almost like it was waiting and just now coming back into play. Will wondered if he ever had anything that could answer what he saw if that was something in him.

He is bound to find out before this whole situation is finished and more than likely before Will finds his own goals reached.

Will didn't have to ask if that was a definite yes. He knows the answer and he would carry that answer and deliver it to Jack and Dr. Bloom.

_“For opening a door for me. And showing me the way I have to go.” Will explained to the man, not caring if he understood or cared for Will's thanks. Will gave it because to not would be rude and an echo of a voice in the back of his mind told him of the distaste that goes with that._

_“To do what?” The Dragon's curiosity was plain to see and Will was going to indulge it for the moment._

_“To find someone I lost with my memories.” Will explained and the someone he spoke of could easily be more than one person. But only Will needed to know that and watched as a part of the dragon seemed pleased with himself as he gave a sharp nod a polite response and left just as silently as he could have slipped into Will's hotel room in the first place. Leaving Will alone and his mind quietened enough for Will to truly be here and in the now._

Will gave Jack and Dr. Bloom the go ahead for this plan and they seemed both apprehensive and pleased at the same time. It also seemed like they were in a heated discussion before Will returned. Will didn't ask and they didn't offer up any explanation. Instead moved forward with the plan of moving Hannibal into Federal custody. Will just sat back and let them go through with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name change from Dr. Lecter to Hannibal made sense to me at this point because Will's no longer there with any distance between himself and the good doctor. Hope you enjoy.


	16. Chapter 16

The events that followed Hannibal's agreement to participate in the latest attempt to apprehend the dragon were what Will can call the calm before the storm. On a simple command and with permission granted Will watched as the man was bound and restrained, amusement never leaving his eyes. Even though he didn't utter a single word beyond acknowledgments. Gestures with empty politeness as Will found those eyes always landing back on him.

They haven't had a chance to speak since this latest ploy was put into action. Will had barely any time to wonder when it stopped being Dr. Lecter and started to be Hannibal in his mind again if it even left in the first place. It was clear to Will that the bound man was so far in Will that he would be felt there for a long time yet, and it is clear that some part of what was missing during the three years he lived with Molly and her son that it was this man that seemed to have been the ghost that haunted him the most.

Will didn't speak with Molly since the hospital and he wondered, for a brief moment on how hurt she would be by what was happening in Will and with Will. However, as cruel as it may be that thought lasted only a moment as he climbed into the back of the transport van with a single FBI agent. On the other side of the caged section was Hannibal himself who seemed completely relaxed. And those eyes once again was focused on Will.

No words uttered. Not by the FBI agent with the pump-action shotgun or by Will and certainly not by Hannibal. It went without saying that conversation was and is far from welcomed in this setting.

The air felt thick with tension and Will once again could not help but wonder if this was what it felt like to be in the calm before the storm. Were there words that could explain what it means or feels like? Will didn't know, what he did know was the sound of a vehicle accelerating outside followed by the flashing lights. Will exchanged a glace with the FBI agent with him. Will turns from the FBI agent to Hannibal who seemed calm but bracing for something. A knowing glint buried in those eyes.

A moment shared between them that is cut short by the sound of a gun, not as loud as it should have been right before he found himself thrown sideways as the van swerves. Will didn't have time to brace himself! All he could do was absorb the beating he receives as he's hurled forward against the bulkhead. Will didn't have a chance to regain his barrings as the van came to a stop in what seemed to be a ditch. The FBI agent was the first to try to right himself, followed by Will. An action that was going to be pointless from the looks of it as the rear door opens and Will knows who's there.

Francis Dolarhyde.

The man, stony and silent wasted no time in removing the FBI agent from the equation and taking the necessary measures for Hannibal to be released from his bindings. Will who still found himself unable to move fast enough or react in any way as he barely noted the last glance and disappearance of the one who caused so much destruction in such a short amount of time. What was it with Will finding himself in the orbit of individuals who can cause such bloodshed that seemed to fit in other era's better than this one.

Movement to his side brought his attention to Hannibal who clearly was wasting no time in freeing himself and heading towards the rear exit. Will knows there is little choice but to follow. To keep moving forward, paying one glance to the fallen FBI agent Will did just that. It was almost breathtaking to see the amount of damage created in such a short amount of time.

Were there any survivors? Should he help them? Should he look?

Will knows that this would be the right actions. The proper actions of a proper individual. Yet instead he found himself questioning Hannibal and watching almost transfixed as the dead were removed from the vehicle.

“You know, Will, you worry too much. You'd be so much more comfortable if you relaxed with yourself. I would imagine, your memories would be easier to access as well.” Hannibal pointed out as he moved towards another cruiser. Will found himself stuck where he stood. He should be looking for survivors lucky enough to survive the dragon. He should be doing something. Instead, he stood there and watched as the cruiser backed up until the passenger side was well within view.

“Going my way?” There was a playful hint there, the bloodshed and death clearly doesn't bother Hannibal in any way. Will found himself slightly annoyed but not as annoyed as he should be as he removed a gun from the dead officer and giving his answer to that question silently by climbing into the passenger seat. Having stepped over a dead body to do just that. It seemed to have pleased Hannibal, to say the least. It would. Will knows it would.

Will didn't know where they were heading. And this should concern Will, he should learn and get word back to Jack. If what he was doing here was simply what was planned for on their part. But Will, he had plans and goals of his own. So instead he sat back and let a very pleased killer drive them to their next destination. His body was tense by what he knows could very well happen. More death. Will knows, at least a part of him knows that he should do as the doctor suggested and relax with himself. It won't do him well to be so tense.

Even when Will knows that there was hidden and double meanings in what Hannibal has said.

“You look like you have questions? That would make the two of us but rest assured dear Will. All of our questions will be answered by the end of today. One way, or another.” Hannibal spoke, Will found himself watching Hannibal after that. How could he argue with that, when he knows one way or another tonight will be the end for either his search for who he is among other things or it will be the end of that need to search. And a part of Will was excited to know and learn which it will be.

Somewhere along the way, Will found himself nodding off and wondered idly if he should put more effort into staying awake.

His idle wondering was made up however when the next moment he remembers clearly was the cruiser coming to a stop and a declaration that they were at the intended location. It was a beautiful piece of property occupied by a low house perched on the very edge of the rock. Will found himself drawn to the edge, curiosity pulling him forward as the last of his sleep faded away leaving only Will fully alert and awake.

Perhaps for the first time in a lifetime it seemed like.

“The bluff is eroding There was more land when I was here with Abigail. More land still when I was here with Miriam Lass.” Hannibal stated behind him, stopping only when they stood side by side. Will heard the shift of emotion on each name. Each girl meant something to him, one more personal than the other. The other was a pawn, a piece on the chest board masterfully moved by Hannibal from what Will has learned in the reports and files he's read. The house can hold more clues and answers if Will was inclined to look.

Instead, he stayed where he was and continued the conversation, “Now you're here with me.” A statement, a fact. Something felt like an end here. Could there be a beginning as well? Will would have to wait and see. Or he would have to go with another option and create an answer for himself rather than just taking what was given as his choices. His plan, his wants, and goals call for nothing less than this.

“And the bluff is still eroding. You and I are suspended over the roiling Atlantic. Soon all this will be lost to the sea.” At those words, Will found he could feel the crashing of the waves in his mind and against his body before turning towards the house. There is time to spend before the third person to whatever this is will be there. And he would surely come as those waves would unfailingly crash against the land.

Will only paused momentarily before entering the house himself. He couldn't see Hannibal, but he could hear him and the sound of clothing being discarded and shifted. Priorities no doubt. Will wondered if the man was taking this time to arm himself. To kill Will? To kill the Dragon? Both? Will knows he'll find out soon enough, so he took the time to move throughout the room before he stopped at the sight of the skeleton that looked like it was missing something vital. Flesh. Blood.

_“This is my becoming. And it's yours.”_

A voice Will doesn't know, but with words that felt more real now than they did when they must have been spoken. Ready or not, today and tonight will be a point in Will's life that will change everything and there is no going back.

“What are you looking for Will?” Hannibal's voice almost caused Will to jump. Will turned and noted that the man seemed far more comfortable wearing something far more comfortable to him than the jumper he was wearing previously. Not that Will blamed him, he knows without memory or being said that those uniforms were uncomfortable and constricting. They shrunk your world and felt like binds itself.

The sun was starting to go down. Will noted this before trying to think up an answer suitable.

“Answers. Always answers.” Will answered before taking note of the wine in Hannibal's hand. Three wine glasses already set down and a corkscrew in his spare hand. Will noted the corkscrew a bit more closely than the wine bottle. Will watched as the bottle and corkscrew was set near them before the glasses cleaned with a sure swipe with a soft cloth. Will didn't get an answer or a comment on that, instead, he found himself being watched even more closely than before. There must have been something that settled matters in the others mind well enough for Will to not earn his answer being picked apart and examined carefully. Will didn't know if he was grateful for that or not. Not that it matters, there were other matters at hand anyway.

“This is a game, Will, one you are playing on your own and no one knows the rules.” Hannibal pointed out, how true it is no longer matter. There was no need to lie or speak truths at the moment. Not for Will, this wasn't a moment for that. Not with what is coming, that in itself was all that could amount to anything tonight because it was all of that and none of it.

“A game of finders keepers? Winner takes all?” Will found his own voice bitter and dry, there is a mocking edge to it that Will has yet to really grasp. A nod of acknowledgment was all that he gained for a brief moment. They both seemed to know what that answer entails. Will most especially and if the doctor knows Will well enough he would understand as well. Because of this whole thing, game or not, was a journey for Will to find something with his memories or in his memories.

Two glasses were filled. But Hannibal has yet to pick them up and hand them out. Instead focuses further on Will and his next words were to gauge Will's ulterior motive here and just how close he was with their shared dragon. And that answer, the one he gave Hannibal was an honest mix of two opposites. Whether it satisfied Hannibal or not was beside the point, Will was being as straight forward as he could for the moment.

A realization seemed to come to him. And for a brief moment, just a brief one Will saw a look of what could have been sorrow. Or something like it. He couldn't be too sure, though, the time to decipher that look passed.

“You intend to watch him kill me?” A statement, it was the truth and it wasn't.

“I intend to watch him change you” Will corrected, yet he knows that the outcome would be the same with the dragon. All those who were changed were dead all the same. And that same look crossed Hannibal's face and just as quickly it was gone and Will had to second guess himself on whether or not he saw true.

“Do you?” Hannibal questioned and in turn forced Will to do the same. But it didn't make him move because Will needs to know if he could actually bare witness to Hannibal being changed, even with everything Will has read about him and their shared history. Is this that reckoning that Will has promised Hannibal in according to recordings from his time in BSHCI? Could Will go through with it even after he forgave him?

A rueful look masking another expression. The wine bottle was taken in hand again.

“My compassion for you is inconvenient, Will.” Hannibal's words rang true with Will, he knows on instinct alone that those words were honest. A bitter remark bubbled in his throat, instead Will swallowed it down with a sip of wine. Bracing himself for whatever it is out there. Because it went without saying.

They were being watched.

The low sound and the shattering wine bottle only confirmed it

Everything that followed after, should have and to some extent was expected.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize ahead of time if the chapter feels too short. If I pushed it to be any longer, it wouldn't feel right.

Blood and the loud pounding of a heartbeat was the first thing to register as time slowed and the calmness of night crept back over the scene around Will. Before him laid the dragon in its own cooling blood. Throat missing and growing wings. But that hardly mattered now. The Dragon was dead, nothing more than that now. Yet, advanced and heightened. Transformed and beautiful in its horrific glory.

Beyond the dragon, there he stood. Feral and alive, injured and mighty. Hannibal Lecter.

The area they fought in, was bloodied and softly glowing from the low light from the house where this night started and where the next part of Will's life started. How long it will last, was beyond Will at the moment. A second. A minute. A lifetime.

The only thing that existed at the moment was this single moment. Not the past that remains elusive to Will. Not the future that is an unknown to Will. And yet, Will felt no fear at that and he felt no anger or frustration in his past not belonging entirely to Will as much as it belonged to files and reports and other people's limited knowledge of him. Because here and now, it was just Will and this moment belonged to Will just as much as it belonged to Hannibal Lecter and Francis Dolarhyde. Though only two of them would know of these events intimately.

His pain was creeping back in, becoming known to Will again. The pain in his face and in his shoulder becoming the most prominent, the bumps and bruises only a whisper in comparison. His face and shoulder will scar. And yet, Will was at peace with that. It was okay and Will is okay with it.

Looking down Will can see the blood that painted his skin. It should bother him. This was someone's life staining his hands, yet at this moment Will felt light. The blood was not weighing him down as it should be, and maybe that should bother him more than it does. Perhaps it will bother him in the future when everything settles in and realizations make themselves at home. But at the moment, Will could only focus on how dark it looks despite the moon and the low light of the house.

At this moment, the blood looked near black.

“The blood -” Will found himself muttering to himself before finishing, “- it looks black in the moonlight.” Speaking out loud of his realizations in regards to the blood. If this was something he found out or heard from his past or within the last few years was unimportant. It didn't make it any less true or more of a fact. It just was.

Will's heartbeat slowed down, steady and calm now that this fight for death and rebirth was over.

Movement in front of him, Hannibal was on the move and closer to the bluff. Will tore his attention from the black blood on his hands and arms to the man who partook in this experience with Will. A man who until recently, was unknown to Will yet had such a huge impact on him in his past and present. Perhaps in his future as well. Because this was the man who despite the manipulations was the most honest with Will. At this moment, this man was the one who knew Will the most.

And was a man who Will felt drawn to. With all that happened, Will finally felt free to admit that fact. A fact that was partially at fault for his goal's creation, that and the hunger to know who he was and who he was. It was all tied together.

Will found getting to his feet on his own was difficult as exhaustion and pain started to really settle in. When Will was offered help, he took it and allowed himself to be pulled closer. Yet they weren't close enough. Standing within arms reach of each other and both seemingly more human than ever as injuries took hold. Will scanned the other man's injuries as best that he could. The most prominent would be the gunshot through Hannibal's side. His eyes traveled upwards until they found what Will unknowingly sought out, eye contact.

It was looking in those eyes that made Will realize some things.

First of all, Will was already set up to fail for a few reasons. His attempt to gain revenge by proxy would not have succeeded because Will would have stepped in regardless. As Will did the second before the Dragon drove his knife into Will's face. No matter how much horror and betrayals Will was clearly put through because of this man, Will would not have been able to go through with it. His own forgiveness for Hannibal's wrongdoings echoed in his ears as it must have back when he first uttered those words.

Secondly, all Will had to do was look at his history. Everything he did seemed to come back to Hannibal Lecter and always finding his way back into the man's orbit and always with a surprising lack of struggle on his part. So Will can only come to a conclusion that they were connected on a level that wouldn't allow them to simply go on forever without each other. They could go on for a short time, but in the end, they always end up in each others presence.

And after everything that happened tonight, Will didn't know if it would be possible to separate himself from Hannibal. If that would even be possible.

Looking into the other man's eyes, Will knows on some instinctual level it was the same for Hannibal Lecter. And Will knows that Hannibal was somehow reaching the same conclusion. This night was a night where things between them were truly on the same page and where they truly aligned. They were their truest self-tonight, and Will knows it and for once, he thinks he could understand it on a deeper level than ever before. It made it almost seem like losing his memories was a blessing.

“See. This is all I ever wanted for you, Will. For both of us.” Hannibal's words only seemed to reinforce what Will already knows and feels at this very moment. And the emotion in those words only confirmed that this night was filled with only truths for the both of them.

Will takes a moment to consider the brutal pack hunting he shared with Hannibal from the moment they were in the back of that transportation van to now. There were many complicated ways of explaining what tonight was like or what it meant and what it truly was. Yet there was no room for any of it. Instead, there were only two single words that could reflect all of that. And Will knows that he owes Hannibal this just as much as he owes himself the same thing.

“It's beautiful.” Will's words seemed to do the trick, to explain how it is and was. And the fact is, those two words were genuine.

Will can see it, the disbelief and savage hope just threatening to overtake that emotion. Will knows that there are no words that could be used to destroy that disbelief. No knives sharp enough to cut through it. So Will did the only thing that he could think of as fitting, he pulled Hannibal closer while cutting that space between them to nothing with his own body. This embrace felt like nothing before, it was bloodied and messy and caused injuries to scream out in agony as he moved.

Yet Will couldn't bring himself to pull away, instead, he laid his head against the other man. Tucking it against his neck and feeling the hitch in breathing. Will knows right then, his actions did what they were intended to do even before he felt hands holding him there as they tightly grasped his bloodied shirt.

This felt right.

That in itself should have him feeling some sort of guilt, considering he was legally a married man. And don't get him wrong, he did care about his wife. But, there was nothing that could stand up to what it was like to stand here in this embrace feeling the emotions that he was. How light he felt now that it seemed like some unknown weight was removed from him as unseen chains feel away.

Arms circled around him holding him tighter than before did nothing but gain the mirroring action from Will.

The sound of the ocean crashed below them as they stood there.

At this point, there were only two options left that mattered.

One option was to take them both over the edge. And it could be morally the right one because this night showed Will that he was no better and was just as capable of taking lives as Hannibal is. They were the same and with them in the world it meant more people would die. Because that is what they would unavoidably do. Maybe not now, but one day they would hunt again. Side by side. It didn't help that he knows that Jack Crawford would want that ending for Hannibal and it made it clear to Will now that Jack was willing to risk everyone to get what he wants in the end. The prices paid already was not enough to deter him. So to do the right thing, the morally ethic thing for everyone else. It would mean to fall to their deaths and let the ocean take their bodies.

That same part of Will would be okay with that because they would be together. And that was something Will now knows is something that has to happen, them remaining together. After all, from what Will has found out and after tonight. They went through too much together for anything less.

Another option was to follow and walk with Hannibal to wherever it was he wanted to go. To be with him in a way that will feel like he wanted before, but wasn't ready for a reason that was beyond him at the moment. This option would allow Will to enjoy the best of each other and it would allow Will to accomplish what he wants in life, and that was to find himself and who he used to be and who he was supposed to be. Only this option would mean sacrificing anyone who happens to find themselves targeted by either Will or Hannibal or both. There would be fresh blood staining their hands in the future. People Will might have known or will know in the future or won't know at all. And Will would have to ask himself now and forever if he was okay with living with the fact that he will kill and kill again by Hannibal's side.

Closing his eyes, Will stole a moment to think and to listen to a steady heartbeat that seemed to match his own. It was soothing.

And that was enough for Will to ask the question that would only seal the deal.

“Can you help me?” Will's voice was quiet and it pained him to speak due to his facial injury. But the question was important. Will knows that Hannibal would know what Will meant, he had to. Because Will needed help with his past and his present and he wanted someone to help him in his future as well. It was important.

The satisfaction that seemed to radiate off of Hannibal, seeping into the air around them told Will the answer and he couldn't help but reflect that and absorb it.

“Yes.”

Just one word with three letters was all it takes to answer Will's question. Just that one word was all it takes for Will to know that his search was coming to an end because he found some of what he needed and he knows that this man can provide the keys to the other doors he needs to go through. To find himself. To find his past. And to walk forward to his future, only now regardless of how dark it goes. He won't be walking alone because Hannibal will be there right alongside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over. I can't believe it's over. I hope you enjoyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> I've decided I like this idea and wanted to run with it. Hope you enjoy. And which Killer do you think the title means? Could be three?


End file.
